Harvest Moon: A Jacked Up Life
by FlyingSquirrelOfDarkness
Summary: What happens when Angela, a girl who just wanted to take a trip to Hawaii, ends up on Castanet Island doing a drug addicted goddess's dirty work? Rated T for language.
1. What the Hell is Harmonica Town?

**Hello everyone! I've been mulling over this idea for the past month, and I played the video game this morning, finally deciding to turn it into something. Read it, like it, love it, and review it. Constructive criticism is welcomed, but no flames. Enjoy!**

"So, what was your name again?" the annoying captain asked. I gave him a look over my shoulder from the rail of the ship. "When did I ever mention my name to you?"

He chuckled and took a hit from his weed. "Just trying to be friendly."

_Go die in a hole, freak. _"The name's Angela."

"So why'd you come to Harmonica Town, Angela?" My heart just about stopped.

"Harmonica Town? What the hell is Harmonica Town? I thought I was going to Hawaii!" I shrieked, but then I suddenly remembered. "Damn that stupid homeless man selling phony tickets. And I thought I was really getting a real bargain, too."

Pascal laughed even harder. Well, actually he collapsed to the ground and seized for a few minutes. He then got up and adjusted his hat. "Anyways, what is your favorite food?"

"Uh, that's not totally random," I said. Then, I just decided to go along with it. "I like pizza, I guess."

"NOOOO!" he shouted. "That is not one of your choices! You have to pick from eggs, veggies, or FISH!"

Okay, that was just really weird. Luckily, it just started raining all of a sudden for no reason whatsoever. Thank god, I could finally run inside. Unfortunately, I slipped on Pascal's fallen weed and blacked out.

For a moment, I was encompassed in total blackness, but then a bright light shone and I saw a woman. I guess she could have been pretty, but she had dark circles under her eyes, nasty pale skin, she looked anorexic, and her unnaturally long hair was all tangled and nasty. She was passed out on the floor in front of me, snoring loudly. There was a little snot bubble on her nose and she drooled like crazy. I grabbed a nearby stick and poked her cheek.

"Um, excuse me? Hellooooo? Anyone home" I asked, poking harder. "Cause if there is I'd really like to know where I am right now."

She snorted and shot up. ""UNGH! Who are you?" I could see that her pale green eyes were bloodshot.

"I'm just a girl who is headed to Harmonica Town," I stated simply, tossing my stick off into nowhere.

The lady rubbed her eyes. "Of all the places in the world, why would you wanna go to a shitty place like Harmonica Town?"

"I was actually going to go to Hawaii, but I had a sudden change of plans," I grumbled, glaring at the ground.

"I feel for ya," she drunkenly patted my shoulder. "Well since you're going to Harmonica Town, how about we make ourselves a little deal?"

I looked at her suspiciously. "What kind of deal would that be?"

"Well you see," she began. "I have this friend, who happens to be a certain god that needs to be summoned, but in order to summon him, these stupid five magical bells have to be rung at the same time. I want you to do that for me."

"Okay, first of all, why do you need him summoned? Second, why don't you just ring the bells yourself?"

"I need him to be summoned because he stole my drugs—I mean, uh…my uh…my tree! Yeah, my magical tree is dead, and he's the only one that can fix it!" she laughed nervously, but I didn't know why. "Plus, you have to run a couple of errands in order to have them ring. Besides, do I look like I'd be able to do much?" She pointed to her awful looking face.

I thought about it for a moment. "…I guess, but what's in it for me? Will I get something cool?"

"The town will consider you a Hero and you'll be remembered and honored for years to come?" she said with a hopeful smile.

I rolled my eyes. "That's lame! I want something cool, and I won't do your stupid little errand unless I get something awesome out of it," I decided, crossing my arms.

The lady sighed heavily. "Why can't normal humans be satisfied as easily, anymore?" she muttered, loud enough for me to hear. "Alright, if you do this mission for me, I will…give you…a house big enough for a four person family, complete with quality furniture, A/C and heating, and all appliances you would ever need, all for free."

"Hmmm, I'll agree on one condition."

"And what would that be?"

"The beds have to be Tempurpedic!"

She looked at me funny, finally breaking down. "Okay fine, I'll give you the fancy beds!"

I giggled. "It's a deal!" I shook her cool hand. "By the way, what's your name?"

"That's classified!" she said with a wink. (A/N: ten points to whoever can guess that reference.)

**Don't forget to review! The more I get, the faster I post. I pretty much feed off of reviews (but hey, who doesn't?).**


	2. An oompa loompa?

**Hey y'all! Yeah, I updated even without waiting for ten zillion reviews, cuz I was too excited about my idea to wait any longer. Go ahead and read it, you know you want tooo! Yeah I effed up the storyline a bit because I wanted a boat scene, but I liked the Animal Parade, better, so deal with it!**

I awoke on the back of some random wagon, on a pile of nasty smelling hay. At first, I was in too much shock to say anything, but as soon as I saw the little fairy dude, I freaking screamed.

"Whoa! Are you alright back there?" a voice asked me. I turned around to see a guy who was guiding a horse down a long dirt path. I looked from his, to the fairy dude, then back.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked both of them, utterly confused as to how I ended up from a ferry, to a freaking wagon in the middle of nowhere.

"I'm Cain," the guy answered. "I'm Finn, your faithful fairy companion!" fairy boy answered cheerfully, his little yellow hat bobbing up and down.

"Ah, nice to meet you," I said to both of them. "Cain, do you know how I got here, at all?"

"Oh, the captain of the ferry, Pascal, didn't know what to do with you, so he dumped you off on my wagon and told me to take you to Harmonica Town," Cain answered simply.

"Huh," was all I got out, still staring at Finn. He was freakishly adorable. I made a mental note to totally give him a hug when my shock wore off.

"Don't worry; no one can see me, but you, the other sprites, and the Harvest King and Goddess," he reassured me, even though I didn't give a crap.

I just nodded at him. I wondered who this Harvest King and Goddess were. I mean, what the hell would they do? Help farmers farm? I hope that they aren't the ones that everyone worships in this Harmonica Town. Ugh.

"So what's your name, again?" Cain asked.

I had awful flashbacks of Pascal asking me weird questions. "Oh dear god, not you too!"

"W-what's wrong with you?"

I plugged my ears. "Please, no more QUESTIONS!"

"Um…okay." We were silent for the rest of the ride. I listened to Finn ramble about pineapples and roosters, while I dozed in and out of sleep.

An hour later, we appeared in front of this very nice house and stopped. "Alright, according to my directions, this is where I'm supposed to bring you."

I looked at it, knowing that it was the work of that weird lady. "Yep, this is my stop!" I leapt off, skipping to the front of my uh-mazing new two story house. It looked brand new and all pretty, with a pretty pale blue siding and a black roof. The windows and shutters were white, and so was the door.

"A thank-you would be nice!" Cain shouted at me.

"Eh, screw you," I muttered under my breath and waved at him without turning around. When I heard him ride away, I walked even closer to my new house. It was ten times better than my dumpy two-roomed apartment back in Seattle.

I was about to open the door, when I realized that the door was locked. Damn. "This could be a problem," I said to no one in particular.

"Oh, here are your keys!" Finn piped up, tossing me a single key on a ring. Of course, I failed miserably at trying to catch it, somehow getting my foot stuck behind my head.

After I managed to re-locate my leg joint back in to place, I picked up my keys and opened my door. The inside was perfect, with everything the lady promised. I saw my huge light green bed. If it was what I thought it was, I would be in heaven. Taking a running start, I launched myself into the air, landing on my bed, sinking into the mattress.

"Yeah, this is Tempurpedic," I sighed, lying on my stomach in content.

I began to start sleeping, but Finn began to jump on my head in his sad little attempt to wake me up. "Come _on_, Angela! We have to go see the Harvest Goddess right now!"

I ignored him, trying to go back to sleep. After a couple more minutes of Finn going "Hey, hey, HEY! LISTEN!" I snapped.

"Would you just quit saying that already?" I shouted, getting a minor headache. "God, you sound just like freaking Navi when you say that!" My eye twitched when I said Navi.

"Navi, who's Navi?" Finn cocked his head to one side, obviously confused.

"Let's just put it this way; if you value your life at all, you won't _ever _say 'hey' and 'listen' in the same sentence while talking to me, got it?" I had grabbed him by his cute little fairy shirt, and we were nose to nose. "Now you may be so adorable, I could fangirl squeal, but if you keep up the 'hey, listen' crap, you're gonna get it."

Finn was shaking from fright. "O-okay, Angela…"

I smiled. "Okey dokey! Let's go see some Goddesses! To the batmobile!" I called, thrusting a fist into the air. Finn gazed at me funny for some unknown reason, but he didn't say anything.

I marched out of my house, humming the Indiana Jones theme. Before I could even go two steps, some little old, fat, midget came barreling up to me.

"OMIGOD! It's an oompa loompa!" I squealed.

"I am not an oompa loompa!" he shouted. "I am Mayor Hamilton!"

I frowned. "So you're not an oompa loompa? Well then don't waste my time! I have places to be!"

"Like where?"

_Good question_. "Uhhh…"

He pointed a chubby finger at me. "Ha! You were lying!" He did a little dance thingy, and then cleared his throat. "Anyways, I am here to give you the things to start your own ranch!"

"W-wait, what?"

"Yeah, you're the new rancher here, right?"

I was so confused. "_No_, I ended up moving here by mistake! I never said anything about being a freaking rancher!"

He looked a bit sad. "Well who am I going to give this farm starting kit?"

I shrugged. "You can still give it to me, if you want." _Yeah, so I can sell it on eBay._

The mayor brightened up immediately. "Great! I'll throw in a map for you, as well!" he tossed me a yellow box with a pink bow, and a map. I sighed with relief as I caught them both. "Have a dandy day!" he said as he rolled away.

"He would make a great oompa loompa," I sighed.

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	3. Deliver The Toolbox of Doom!

**Hey everyone! Just a quick warning, I messed up the story line a bit, so you'll just have to deal with it. Enjoy! **

I wandered around town with my map in hand. Neither Finn, nor I knew where the hell we were going. I ended up getting a free camera from some guy who owned a camera shop, though. We also stumbled across a cute little church, and we met a priest in training with a god-awful haircut.

I took a seat in one of the pews to look at my map better. It was hard to find where you're going on a map when you keep running into buildings. "What the hell are we looking for, anyways?" I asked Finn.

"Um, I think we're looking for a pond of some sort," he answered, rubbing his little chin.

"I thought you were supposed to know where we're going!" I hissed.

"Well I failed Fairy School, I know next to nothing!"

"…Fairy School?" I snickered.

"Yes, Fairy School! Now shut up and look for a spot where you think a goddess might live!"

"Okay, okay! You don't have to be so rude!" I said. Percy, or Paolo, or whatever the hell his name was just stared at me like I was retarded. _Oh yeah, he doesn't know I'm talking to a fairy_.

I gave him a wave and smiled before looking back at my map. "Hmmm, if I was a goddess, where would I live?" I drew a complete blank. "Damn."

"Alright, since we're not getting anywhere, let's do this my way," Finn ordered.

He closed his eyes and pointed to a place on the map. "Hm, I can see a goddess living in a Clinic," I said.

Finn grinned. "This is how I would do my tests back in school."

"Nice," I commented, heading out the door. We quickly made it to the clinic, in hopes of finding the goddess.

We saw and old lady standing behind a counter. She had an abnormally large bun on the back of her head and a really pointy nose that could probably stab somebody.

"Oh, are you the new rancher?" she asked. My eye twitched slightly.

"No, I'm a normal person."

"Ah well, I'm Irene. It's nice to meet you," she greeted. I gave her a smile. "Oh, and my grandson Jin is the doctor here."

"Hey, are you a goddess?" I asked her out of the blue.

"N-no, not that I am aware of."

"Oh," I glared at Finn. "Well do you know where a goddess would be in this town?"

"Do you mean the Harvest Goddess?" she asked.

"I guess."

"Well, then you should check out the Goddess Pond, but nowadays, she frequents the bar."

I perked up. "There's a bar here? Where?" I whipped out my map and Irene pointed to where it was, and within seconds, I was out the door.

Outside the bar stood some random chick, who was stretching her arms. Here blond hair was gathered into a ponytail. She wore a red skirt and a blue button down shirt that was tied up just above her belly button. When she saw me, she smiled. "You must be the newcomer."

"Yep, that's me," I said. "I'm Angela."

"Cool, I'm Kathy. Are you here for a drink?"

"Why else would I go to a bar?"

"The bar's closed right now, but would you like some tea? I can whip some up real quick." she asked me over her shoulder as she opened the door to the bar.

"Aw, I wanted a real drink, but tea will do for now." I followed her inside. It was a cute little bar. The only people in there were a bald guy with a go-tee and a lady with floor-length hair, passed out on the bar counter.

"Hey, I saw that lady before!" I said to Kathy and Finn.

"Yeah, I'm not quite sure who she is, but she's been here practically every single day, drinking like crazy," she explained. "I'm surprised she's not dead yet."

"Hey, that's the Harvest Goddess!" Finn shouted, doing cartwheels in the air.

_Huh, I should've known, _I thought to myself. I walked to the goddess.

"Oh, I wouldn't touch her, if I were you," the bald guy warned. "When I did, I got a nasty black eye."

I rolled my eyes and poked her awake. "Huh?" she opened one eye to look at me. "Oh, it's you," she sat up and made a half-hearted attempt to fix her hair. Everyone looked shocked that I could approach her.

"Yeah, it's me," I said. "And we need to talk, according to Finn." I jerked my head in Finn's direction. She supported herself with her elbows.

"Who's Finn?" Kathy asked. We both ignored her.

"Oh yeah, Finn! I remember him!" she shouted, hiccupping a bit. Finn waved at her. "Anyways, I'll wait for you at the Goddess Pond," she said with a highly obvious wink. "I believe you have errands to run, first."

The Harvest Goddess hopped off of the counter, falling to the ground and landing flat on her face.

"Oh my! Are you okay?" Kathy asked, helping up the goddess.

"Never better," she slurred, walking out the door.

"Errands, what errands?" I asked Finn.

"I'll go make your tea, now," Kathy decided, walking behind the counter. "Oh yeah, this is Hayden, my dad." She pointed to the big bald dude. "He also owns the bar."

"Nice to meet ya," he said in a gruff voice.

Kathy shortly came back out with my tea. "I put a shot of booze in it," she whispered as she poured my tea. "But don't tell my dad. We're supposed to cut down on the alcohol, because we haven't been getting shipments lately and we're running low. You seem like you need it, though."

I smiled. _I think you're my new best friend_. "Thanks, I really do need it after all of the crap I've been through the past few days."

While I drank my tea, the bar door slammed open, and in came the oompa loompa. "Hey look everyone, it's the oompa loompa!" I shouted, pointing at him.

He ignored my comment. "Ah, I figured you'd be here, Angela. I need you to do a couple things for me."

"Oh god, now I have to run errands for you, too?" I banged my head on the table, feeling emo.

Oompa Loompa ignored me once again. "You must meet everyone in Harmonica Town, and then deliver this toolbox to Bo." He handed me a green toolbox.

"Who's Bo? Where does he live? Why do I have to do it? Why am I asking so many questions?" I was going insane. Oh, too late, I already have.

"You'll find him at some bridge thingy, I think," he said uncertainly. "No matter, you must do these things because I'm too lazy to do them myself."

I wanted to rip my hair out. "Ugh fine, only because you look like an oompa loompa." With that, I stormed out of the bar.

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	4. Prank Calls and Staring Contests

**Alright, I have decided that I will post one chapter per day. Does that sound like a plan? I hope so…anyways, enjoy!**

Meeting the townspeople made me feel like I was Animal Crossing. The bad part was that I had absolutely no idea where anyone lived, and Finn wasn't much of a help, either. Basically, we walked into every unlocked building and said hello to everyone I saw. It worked, but people screamed at me for barging in. This lasted for a good two hours.

It took another two hours to find this Bo guy. Oompa Loompa was right, though. He was next to some bridge thingy, just sadly staring at it. I wasn't quite sure what I should do, so I just asked him, "Hey, are you Bo?"

He had dirty blond hair. He smiled at me. "Yes I am." I threw the toolbox at his head as hard as I could.

"OW! What the hell was that for?" he yelled at me. Finn and I had our arms crossed, giving Bo the evil glare of death.

"It's _your _fault that I had to waste my time walking around this stupid island to give you your stupid toolbox!"

"Oh, well thanks, I guess," he said, totally calm.

"'Thanks' is all you have to SAY? I spent two hours looking for your stupid butt! I am sweating like a pig, halfway intoxicated, and freaking starving, and that's all I freaking GET? WELL SCREW YOU!" I screamed before walking off.

It felt nice to scream at Bo. My therapist always told me to let out your anger in a healthy manner. I considered hitting a guy in the head with a toolbox very healthy.

I waked down a dirt path with Finn flying next to me. "I'm bored, what should we do, now?" I asked.

"Let's have a staring contest!" Finn suggested.

"OH YEAH!" we stared at each other intently while we walked. "You're going down," I warned. "I've never lost a staring contest in my life."

"Well that's gonna change!" Finn announced.

"What are you talking-," I ran into a tree. Finn cracked up.

"HA! I win!" he bragged. "In your face!"

I clutched my head. "Ow…"

"Oh come on, it didn't hurt that bad, Angela…Angela?" he flew close to my face when I didn't reply. "A-are you alright?"

Finn got really close, and then I opened my eyes and screamed in his face as loud as I could.

"OMIGOD!" he screamed. This time, I cracked up.

"I-I can't believe you actually fell for it!" I laughed even harder.

"Shut up," Finn grumbled, pouting. He was just so cute.

"You'll live," I reassured, patting his little head. "Now let's keep going." We got up and continued walking, finally reaching the main town. As we walked through it, I grew bored, again. "What do you wanna do, now?"

"I dunno. Maybe we could like, prank call someone."

I got an evil glint in my eyes. "Finn, that's the best thing you've said since we met."

We got to my house and found a phone. "Do you have anyone's number?" I asked, staring at the phone.

"Hmmm…oh wait! I have the Goddess's phone number!" he started bouncing. He fished through his cute little pockets and pulled out a tiny piece of paper.

He read it off to me while I dialed it on the phone. "What should we say?" I asked.

"Don't worry, I have an idea." He whispered it in my ear. We could barely keep from laughing.

Someone had picked up on the other line. "…Hullo?" I covered the mouth of the phone and told Finn to shut up, and then took my hand off the phone.

"Is this a Ms. Harvest Goddess?" I asked in a business tone.

"Yeah, whaddya want?" She still sounded drunk.

"Yes, this is…Susan from the Harmonica STD Clinic. We called to inform you that a former partner of yours has developed a nasty case Herpes, and claims that he got it after he was with you," I explained, keeping my cool.

"…Seriously?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm terribly sorry."

"Dammit! Which guy was it?" she asked, freaking out.

"Um, that's classified information."

"I bet it was Steve. He never bothered calling me, anymore," she muttered darkly. I snickered.

"Anyways, we wanted to know if you've had any symptoms, just in case he was wrong," I had to bite my tongue when I finished speaking.

"Well, it hurts when I pee, I have ulcers, lots of itching…" she went on for a while longer. Eventually, Finn and I broke down and doubled over in hysterics. I hung up and lied down on the floor, laughing so hard, I started crying. Finn was rolling around on the floor, occasionally running into a table leg, but he kept on laughing.

A few minutes later, we calmed down, still lying on the floor. "Ah, that was fun," I stated, scratching my stomach.

"Yeah, it was…who do you want to call next?"

We found a yellow pages lying around (it was like, three pages long) and looked through the numbers. We continued calling people until my doorbell rang. I got up and opened the door. Bo was standing there, wearing a football helmet.

"What's up?" I asked.

"U-um, I just wanted to tell you that the bridge is finished being fixed, don't hurt me!" he was in fetal position at this point.

"Wait you were fixing the bridge? You looked like you were just staring at it, to me."

By now, he was trembling. "Yes ma'am, I was fixing the bridge, I swear!"

"Okay!" I said cheerfully, slamming the door in his face. I sat down in one of the dining chairs. "Geez, I wonder what his problem is? He seems like he's scared of me, or something," I said aloud.

Finn took one look at me and banged his head against the saltshaker. I ignored him and walked over to my kitchen. "So, what should we have for dinner?"

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	5. Guns and Goddess Ponds

**Alright everyone! I am finally getting started with the actual storyline in this chapter. Yay for plot development! I'm trying to add my own retarded twist to everything, so I hope you find it enjoyable!**

After eating a sad dinner of barely cooked hamburgers without buns, I hopped onto my bed. _Why couldn't the goddess give me pajamas?_ I wondered, kicking my wedged heels off. My feet hurt like hell from walking in them all day. I had worn them because I thought that I would be in Hawaii by now.

"Maybe if a certain hobo had given me real tickets, I wouldn't have this problem!" I screamed, throwing a heel at my wall at full force. Sadly, my aim is so bad, that the shoe ended up hitting Finn (who was right next to me) in the head, slamming him into a nearby lamp. The lamp fell to the ground with Finn stuck under it.

I leaned over the bed, watching his little leg twitch slightly before pushing the lamp off of him. "Are you okay?" Finn was flattened and looked like a squished bug. There was no reply. "I'll take that as a no," I decided, grabbing a flyswatter to scrape him off of the hardwood floor.

"You know what?" I kept talking. "You don't have a place to sleep. Well, you definitely can't sleep with me, because I'll probably roll on you and squish you…again…which I'm really sorry for."

There was still no answer from Finn. He just kept twitching and it was starting to creep me out.

"…Well, I'm gonna go look for a bed for you!" I declared happily.

I inspected the house, in hopes of something that would act as a perfect bed for Finn, while singing The Gummy Bear song.

The only thing I could think of was a makeshift bed made of tissues. I took like, seven tissues and folded them up into a neat rectangle and placed them on my nightstand. By now, Finn had inflated up to normal size, but he had a huge bruise going across his face. He looked at it like it was a piece of crap.

"Hey this is a very nice bed," I argued. "Not only is it comfortable, but if you get the sniffles, you can just roll over, blow your nose, and go right back to sleep! It's a two in one deal!"

"That's the crappiest idea I've ever heard," Finn mumbled, putting his hat back on his head.

My happiness was gone in a second and I was pissed. "Look, you're gonna like it whether you like it or not!" I waved the flyswatter around absentmindedly. "Wow, that sounded weird," I mused.

"I'm not sleeping on it," he stated simply. I flattened him with the flyswatter.

"You _will_ sleep on it, or you're sleeping outside. It's your pick."

Finn mumbled things I couldn't hear as he dragged his flattened body to his tissue bed. I smiled before jumping on my bed, holding my flyswatter out in front of me. "I think I'll have to keep this handy with me. It's like a spray bottle full of water for a kitty…except you're a fairy and this is a flyswatter…"

"Good night, Angela," Finn grumbled, pulling a tissue over him, using it as a blanket.

"Mmm, night," I murmured, turning the lights off.

The next day, Finn and I scrounged up enough random berries around the town to eat for breakfast. They really weren't that bad, but it's not your ideal eggs and bacon. Afterwards, we headed to the Garmon Mine District to check it out. It had the blacksmith shop, the jewelry store, the general store, and carpenter's shop.

We walked around for a while, unsure of what to do with ourselves. Instead of doing any shopping, we just followed the dirt path until we were in a forest. I kept getting stabbed by the stupid tree branches.

"This is the reason why I like the city better," I complained, smacking branches away.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," Finn assured me, running into the branches even more than me.

All of a sudden, a bunch of wild animals get in our way. "Shoo, go away," I ordered them with a sweep of my hand. They just stood there, watching me.

"Here, I'll handle this," Finn said confidently. He flew towards the animals, hovering right in front of them. "Look guys, we want to get through and see—AH!" a small monkey had swept Finn up in its mouth. All of the animals still stared at me. I heard Finn's muffled pleas of help, but I didn't know what to do. Clearly, these animals weren't up for negotiations.

I sprinted to the carpenter's shop, barging in. I leaned on my knees, panting. "Someone help me!" I said, out of breath.

A big guy with blue hair put back in a ponytail looked up from his connect the dots book. "Is something wrong?" he asked in a gruff voice.

"There's these wild animals blocking my path and they ate my fairy!"

The guy looked up at me funny. "Wait, did I say fairy?" I laughed suspiciously. "I meant to say that they ate my...my uh…my bracelet!"

"Animals giving you a hard time, huh?" he asked, bending down to grab something under the counter. He stood back up with a rifle in his hand and loaded it. "This should help you out. There's this dumb ass animal whistle that you could use to calm them down, but I find guns to be more persuasive," he said, tossing it to me.

"Uh, thanks." I stood there awkwardly, and then pointed at the big white dog standing next to him with the gun. It looked unnaturally still. "Hey, what's with your dog?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Oh you mean Boss right here? He's dead, and I had him freeze dried. Watch, he obeys real well. Boss, stay!" he commanded. Boss didn't move a muscle.

"Ah, that's…interesting." The guy was starting to freak me out. "Well, I really should be leaving now…" I made a break for the door, running back to the wild animals.

"Alright!" I called out to the animals as I aimed the gun at them. "Which one of you is first to go?"

A couple scattered off, but the one with Finn still stood there. "Hmm, how about you?" I asked it with a smirk on my face. It started to back away. "Just spit out the stupid fairy and no one gets hurt."

The monkey reluctantly opened his mouth and Finn busted out of there, immediately latching onto my arm. "Oh Angela! That was so scary, thank you for saving me!" he cried.

The animals just walked off, clearly bored with the outcome. We continued walking down the path. We finally reached this place that looked like an old rundown temple. Everything was crumbling and looked like shit. The floor was flooded with water.

"Angela, we've found the Goddess Pond!" Finn exclaimed. I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Why would the Goddess be in a place like this?" I asked.

"Because I'm broke!" The Goddess stumbled down the stairs on the other side of the so called pond. "I haven't renovated in seventy years!"

"Oh…" was all I said, walking across the stones in the water. I helped the Goddess up, who was currently face down in the water.

"So why did you want me here?" I asked with Finn sitting on my shoulder. He was playing with my hair, tugging on it. "No, bad Finn!" I scolded him, whipping out the flyswatter, smacking him. He fell off my shoulder and fell into the water.

"Uh…I don't remember anymore…" the Goddess admitted.

"…You're kidding me, right?"

"Oh wait! I wrote it down in case I forgot…ah, here it is!" She pulled a folded piece of paper out from her bra and handed it to me. I opened it up and scanned through it.

"I think is your grocery list…" I said, handing it to the Goddess.

She looked at it and smiled sheepishly. "Oops, wrong list." She tucked it back into her shirt and pulled out another list and gave it to me.

"Okay, thanks Harvest Goddess!" I bounded back to the forest path. "Come on, Finn!" I waited for him to follow me.

"So what's on the list?" Finn asked.

I opened it and read it through. "I dunno, I'm too lazy to figure it out."

**Yeah, sorry if it was a crappy chapter. I had a hard time writing this one. Please review!**


	6. Punting Little Girls

**Okay, this chapter is about Angela and Finn's quest for the red bell. Each chapter will be a different bell quest, got it memorized? Hee hee…kingdom hearts reference…**

"Oh come on Angela, you have to read the list!" Finn exclaimed. "The sooner we complete these quests-,"

"The sooner we help save the Goddess, I know already," I interjected.

"No, I wasn't going to say that," Finn snapped. "I was going to say the sooner we could start sleeping in all day!"

I thought about that for a moment. "Yeah, that's so true…let's start the quest!" I declared, thrusting the paper above me.

"Yeah! Let's do it for the slackers of the world!" Finn added.

"For the slackers! Now let's see…we have to go to the tenth floor of the Garmon Lower Mine, wherever the hell that is," I read aloud. "Where would the mines be, Finn?"

"Uh, Angela? They're right there," he told me as he pointed to the mines that we were right in front of.

"Heh, heh…oh." I walked into the entrance to the mine. There was another entrance to the first part of the mine. Finn and I stood there, staring at it. I could see nothing but darkness.

"A-aren't you going to go in?" Finn asked, his voice wavering. I glared at him.

"You're not going in with me?"

"Um n-no, I think it would be best if I stayed here and kept watch for you!" I smiled weakly.

I smashed him with the flyswatter that I keep with me. Once I scraped him off of the floor, I tucked him in my pocket and walked into the darkness. "There is no way you're staying behind and making me go all by myself," I muttered.

Walking in the mines absolutely sucked. I had no idea where the stairs to the lower levels were. To make matters worse, I would always end up falling in a pitfall or something else that's just as painful. "How do we know what floor we're on?" I asked Finn.

"I thought you were keeping track!" Finn shouted from my pocket.

"Why would I keep track?" I shouted back at him while I ran into yet another wall.

"Because, you—AAAAHHHH!" We had fallen down another freaking pitfall.

When we landed, I realized that I could actually see. When I looked around, I realized something. "Hey, Finn! I think we reached the tenth floor!"

"I thought you weren't keeping track!"

"I wasn't, but look over there!" I pointed to a giant neon sign that said TENTH FLOOR.

"Oh, that's convenient. What does the list say now?"

I looked at it. "It said to look for a path, follow it, and that's where the pedestal for the red bell should be." We looked around for a moment and found the path. Of course at the end of the path, was the pedestal, but the bell wasn't there. "Of course it's not there," I muttered. "Make my job harder than it already is."

Somehow, we made it back up to the entrance of the mine, making it out of it alive. "OHMIGOD WE'RE ALIVE!" I gasped, falling to the ground.

"Thank god…" Finn sighed, wriggling out of my pocket. He flopped onto the ground next to me. People walking by us were exchanging worried glances at each other when they saw us.

We lay on the ground for a few minutes before we sat back up. Over by the general store, we saw Bo playing with some random little girl. "Oh look, it's Bo!" I pointed out to Finn. "Finn?" He wasn't answering.

"The red bell…" he pointed and I followed his finger.

_It's right there? That's too easy, _I thought.

Of course, right when I thought that I would be one step closer to sleeping in, some little girl ran over to the bell and kicked it all the way up into a chimney and it got stuck. My eye began to twitch.

"Uh-oh," Finn said, cringing away from me.

The girl was laughing and giggling, and that made me feel twice as murderous. "I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRL, I WILL KILL YOU!" I lunged for her. The little girl stared wide-eyed at me, like a deer caught in the headlights.

I punted her so hard, she flew into the mines, screaming bloody murder. At last, I heard a painful crash. "I'm okaaaaay!" she called from the depths of the mines. "Does anyone have a band-aid?"

"You…you just punted a little girl!" Finn said in disbelief.

"More like the spawn up of the devil," I muttered, wiping my hands on my pants. Then, I realized others began staring at me in shock. "It's cool, no worries people," I assured them. "That was…uh just an old doll, so go back to your business!" I laughed nervously.

A rough looking old man walked out of the blacksmith shop. "What in god's name was that awful screaming?"

"Uh, nothing important, but we have more important business to discuss," I blew off the thought of the screaming girl that I had just recently punted. "There is a giant red bell stuck in your chimney and I really, really, really need it back, like, now."

The old guy let us inside and went to look up his fireplace. "Well whaddya know," he said. "It's stuck."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for stating the obvious, dude. Now, can you get it out for us?"

"Nope, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Well, Ramsey," I read off of his nametag. "What about using that giant metal stick over there? It has a sign above it that says 'used for getting things out of the chimney, especially giant bells.'"

He took one look at it. "It's broken. I can't do anything about it, unless you go mine certain ores for me."

"Me, mining?" I pointed to myself. "No, I can't mine, not even if you pay me!"

"Then I guess it'll stay stuck, then."

I was starting to consider testing my new rifle out on him, but Finn reminded me to stay calm. "How about you or that big muscley ginger mine the ores? Why does everyone expect me to do all the dirty work?"

"Sorry, either you do it, or-,"

"Ugh, screw you, Ramsey! I'll get it out without your stupid help!" I sighed.

I snatched the giant stick, moving it around a bit. "You freaking lied, the stick is perfectly fine!" I walked over to the fireplace and the stick up as far as it would go. When I felt it hit the bell, I jerked the pole and the bell flew out of the chimney.

I left the pole in the fireplace, storming out of the store, only pausing to flip off Ramsey. I ran around to the back of the store and grabbed the red bell. "Thank God!" I cried, jogging back to the mines.

All of a sudden, then bell started moving and I dropped it. "Finn, what's going on with the bell?" I asked, beginning to freak out.

"Why would I know?" He was hiding behind my shoulder, shaking.

Then, the bell randomly turned into another little fairy, except this one was wearing a little red coat and hat. "Awww, he's so cute!" I squealed, kneeling to the ground. He was staring up at me in fear as I squeezed him to death in a hug.

"Ack! Please let go of me!" he choked. I let go of him as he gasped for air.

"Sorry!" I apologized.

"Alan, is that you?" Finn asked, flying out in front of me.

"Hey, it's Finn! Long time, no see!" Alan smiled. "I take it you failed Fairy School and was forced to become a guardian?" he asked, cocking his head to one side.

Finn turned bright red. "I didn't fail! I just dropped out because becoming a harvest sprite wasn't my thing!"

"Finn, I thought you told me that you failed," I chimed in.

"Shut up, you're not helping!" he hissed.

"Oh sorry, I'll be quiet," I said, putting a finger up to my lips.

"Anyways," Finn said, changing the subject. "We need to ring the red bell, so if you don't mind…"

Alan smiled. "I don't mind at all! Just take me to the pedestal, and I'll take it from there."

"Oh no, I'm not going back in there!" I interjected, crossing my arms over my chest.

Alan was silent for a moment. "Why don't you ask for a flashlight?" he suggested like I was retarded.

I perked up. "Oh yeah, I never thought about that!" I hopped back up. "Okay, Alan, turn into a bell again!" Once he went into bell mode, I picked him up and decided to ask for a flashlight from the first person I saw.

I saw the big ginger guy banging some rocks with a hammer. "Hey, you with the face!" I called to him. He turned around.

"Do you have a flashlight?" I asked him.

"Uh, yeah." He scratched his nose. We were silent for a few moments.

"So…would you like to lend it to me?" I asked with the nicest smile I could muster.

"Sure." He smiled back at me. There was more silence as we just stood there, staring at each other.

"That means go get it. Right now," I said slowly, waiting for the words to process in his head, which was too big for his body, and it started freaking me out. _Maybe he was dropped on the head when he was born_.

"Okay!" He ran off into the blacksmith store and came back out with a Disney Princess flashlight.

I thanked him and walked off into the mines, thankful for what little light I had. This time, I went through the mines without falling in as many pitfalls. I made it to the tenth floor in less than thirty minutes, so that was something I was proud of.

Letting out a squeal, I skipped up to the pedestal and put the bell/Alan on the bell frame and stood back. Alan appeared in front of the bell, hopping up and down. "Finally, I'm back!" he cheered.

"Yeah, that's all nice and stuff, but I really need you to ring that bell, like, right now."

Alan scoffed. "Well fine then, Miss Bossypants!" He turned around and started chanting some weird little thingy that I didn't bother listening to. All of a sudden, the bell rung and all of these music notes began to fly out of it at an alarming rate.

"AAAHHH duck and cover!" I screamed, getting to the ground as the notes swarmed around me.

As soon as the bell stopped ringing, the notes evaporated and I stood back up. "Well thanks for helping me out," Alan said. "Now I'm gonna go buy some pot—I mean, go be with the Harvest Goddess!"

"Okay, bye!" Finn and I waved at him as he disappeared.

We walked back out of the mines. "Well, what should we do now?" Finn asked, looking up at me.

I thought about this for a moment. I checked my watch and made up my mind. "Let's go the bar and get WASTED!"

**Ah, I enjoyed writing this chapter. Again, I know I screwed up a bit of how Angela was supposed to do things, but I like it better my way! Please, please, please review, because I like that WAY more than anything else!**


	7. There's a Tattoo on my Ass?

**Okay, this chapter is about ringing the yellow bell. I'm actually pretty excited about writing this chapter, and I hope you all love it as much as I do! Please review this!**

The next morning, I woke up with a nasty hangover. The sun was beating through the windows, going right into my eyes. "Unngh…make the light go away…" I complained, putting a pillow on my face.

"Shut up, Angela," Finn murmured from the empty beer bottle he was currently sleeping in. "You're too loud for mornings."

"You shut up."

"Let me outta this beer bottle, will ya?" he asked.

"Whatever," I sighed.

I smacked it with a hand. The bottle hit the wall, shattering into bits, and Finn fell to the ground. "Gee, thanks."

My migraine wouldn't let me go back to sleep, so I slid out of bed, dragging myself to the shower. "If only I hadn't played so many drinking games with the Harvest Goddess," I sighed as I turned on the hot water. I opened the medicine cabinet and took an aspirin. When I stripped out of my clothes, I noticed a white bandage on my hip. "What's this?" I asked myself. I slowly peeled the bandage off and screamed.

"Please, no screaming!" Finn called from the other room.

"How can I not scream? I have a tattoo of you on my ass!" I shouted.

Finn went silent. "Seriously?"

"Yeah!" I threw my shirt and underwear back on and walked over to Finn. "See?" I slid my undies down a bit on one side and revealed my tattoo.

Finn rubbed his eyes and gazed at it for a few seconds. "Holy crap," was all he said.

I ran my fingers through my hair, walking over to the kitchen. "Check your body for tattoos," I ordered Finn.

"Why?"

"I have a theory," I told him, pouring myself a glass of water. "If there's a tattoo of you on me, you might have a tattoo of me on you."

"Okay…" He was silent as he looked for any new body markings. "Uh, Angela?"

"Yeah, Finn?"

"All I have is a tattoo of an eyeball on my forehead…" If I wasn't hung over, I would've laughed so hard.

I walked to the bed and examined Finn's head. Sure enough, there was another eye smack in the middle of his forehead. "Hm, do you think that anyone would know how we got these?" I asked.

Finn paused, thinking. "I guess our best bet would be the Goddess."

I nodded. "Yeah, let's go see her."

When I got all of my clothes back on, we headed to the Goddess Pond at an extremely slow rate. Once we got there, we found the Goddess passed out on the grass. I had to kick her in the stomach a couple times to get her to wake up. "Wazzuh!" she snorted.

"Err, sorry to wake you, but we have a question to ask you." I explained how Finn and I woke up with tattoos.

The Goddess laughed. "Oh yeah, I remember what happened! When you failed miserably in one of the drinking games, Finn dared you to get a tattoo. Then, you got him to get a tattoo of you, but he is so small, that they could only get an eye on his head!" she cracked up.

Finn pulled his hat further down his head to cover the bandage. "Oh, thank you," I said, walking away.

"Hey! Have you gotten any of the bells, yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, we got the red one yesterday."

"Awesome, I'm gonna go back to sleep now…" her head dropped and she was snoring in seconds.

We left the mine district and walked to the beach. "Is there anything that you feel like doing today?" I asked Finn.

"Well, we can knock out another bell, if you want," he suggested.

"Hm, the sooner the better, I guess." I pulled the paper out of my pocket and read it. "Oh, this is convenient. It said to go to the beach and look for the yellow bell in the sand."

Finn and I walked around for awhile before we found the bell. When I pulled it out of the sand, it turned into another sprite. "I'm Collin, the harvest sprite of earth," he said in a tired voice.

I noticed that he was see-through. "Dude, what's up? I can like, see through you." I tried to poke his stomach, but my finger went straight through.

"Ah don't do that, it tickles!" he giggled. When he quit laughing, he spoke up again. "I am very weak, so this is what's happening to me."

"So are you gonna die, or something?" Finn asked, his eyes widening.

"Pssh me? Dying?" Collin rolled his eyes. "No way, I'm just gonna take a nap and I'll be back to normal."

"Oh well, sleep tight, I guess," I waved as Collin went into bell mode. I took a seat next to the bell, with my legs stretched out in front of me. Finn was lying in the sand next to me.

"Ugh, my head hurts really badly," he complained. Right when he said that, Collin reappeared in front of us.

"Did you say you have a headache?" he asked, pulling out a pill bigger than his hand, which wasn't that big. "Here, take this. It should help."

"What is it, aspirin?" I piped up while Finn swallowed the pill whole.

"Uhhh, yeah aspirin, let's go with that!" Collin said and poofed away.

I shrugged, lying down. We just sat there for a long time, probably for a good half hour. When I got really bored, it turned over to talk to Finn. "What should we do now?"

"Well, we can't ring the yellow bell while Collin is sleeping, but we can still look for the bell frame."

"Sounds cool, let's go!" I was already up and walking away from the beach with the bell. I stopped and turned around. "Finn, aren't you coming?"

"I would, but I can't move my body. It's going all numb."

"That's strange," I said, picking him up and tucking him in my pocket.

When we left the beach, I pulled out the sheet. Apparently, the bell frame was behind a locked gate next to Marimba Farm. I had to pull out my map to find the stupid farm, since I have the worst sense of direction imaginable.

I finally reached the gate, after an hour of walking around, humming show tunes. Sadly, the gate was locked. I set down the bell at stared at the gate.

"So what should we do?" Finn asked from his spot in my pocket. He had gotten to the point where he could no longer hold his head up.

I thought about it for a second. "We could jump over the gate, because it's not that big, but there has to be a catch."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the fence is like, three feet high, so anyone could just climb over it. That means, it must be an electric fence!" I announced.

"So how do we test out your theory?"

"Like this!" I yanked Finn out of my pocket and chucked him at the fence. He screamed at the top of his lungs, but all I heard was a little "Eeeeeeeee!" as he soared through the air. Sure enough, Finn was zapped. The way it happened reminded me of those bugs when they hit those lights that electrocute them. There was a big spark, and Finn just floated to the ground.

I jogged over to pick him up. His green hair was standing up in all directions and you could see the bandage for his tattoo once more. "Well, I was right," I smiled, stuffing Finn back in my pocket. I picked up his little hat and wiggled it back onto his head. "He's so cute!" I squeaked before focusing back on the fence.

"Alright, we need a new plan if we want to get over that fence," I stated, pacing. I enjoyed watching Finn's head bob up and down with each step I took. "Aha!" I snapped my fingers. "If we can't go through it, let's try going over it!"

Somehow, I found a pole used for pole vaulting conveniently lying around.

"Have you ever pole vaulted before, Angela?" Finn asked.

"Why would I?" I snorted. "But here goes nothing!"

I walked way from the gate and ran towards it at full speed. While I was running, something shiny and silver caught my eye. "Ooh, a nickel!" I shouted. When I tried to get the nickel, my foot got tangled up in the pole and I did a face dive into the fence. The shocks ran through my body and it hurt like, really bad.

My body went limp and fell to the ground, twitching. "Ack! Angela, you're suffocating me!" Finn screamed. His face was being shoved into the grass.

"Nngh…must…get…nickel…" I desperately clawed my way to the shiny nickel, with Finn getting face full of dirt. Finally, the nickel was in my hand. I smiled at it before stuffing it into my other pocket. "Ah, sweet victory…"

Next, I jacked a shovel and attempted to dig my way under the fence. That too was an epic fail, and not it the good way. I also tried to blow up the gate with dynamite, but…that didn't go too well.

Eventually, Collin had awakened from his nap. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Ugh, we can't get past this stupid gate because it's locked!" I complained, stretching my arms.

"Uh, Angela? There's a key right there next to the lock…" He pointed to the bright hot pink key with the sign above it that said: Key to Get to Flute Fields.

I smiled sheepishly. "Oh, I knew that…" I blushed and unlocked the gate.

Collin was in bell mode and Finn was in my pocket. When I found the bell frame, there was some weird old farmer guy kneeling buy it, praying. As soon as he saw me, he blushed and briskly walked away. "Well, let's get things started!" I cheered putting the bell back.

Then Collin reappeared, smiling. "Hey, thanks, guys!" He twirled around.

"No problem!" Finn said.

"Now, let's ring that bell! I wanna go back to sleep!" I cheered.

"Okey dokey!" Collin turned around, chanted a few words, did a retarded dance, and the bell rang.

"OH GOD!" I shouted, ducking as all of the rainbow notes flew at me again.

When they went away, we thanked Collin and headed back to my house. I set Finn on his tissues, tucked him in, and collapsed on the hardwood floor, too lazy to make it to the bed.

**Okay, I'll post the next bell quest very soon, I promise! Now, I can't seem to stress this enough, REVIEW! Like it when you add me to story alert, or favorite my stories, but reviews are what I LOVE more than anything else. They keep me writing. If you like this story, then review PLEASE!**


	8. Flying Squirrels and Chicken Whales

**I got a late start on this chapter today, but I refuse to make everyone wait, so I will prevail! I don't even know if that's the right way to say it, but who cares? Anyways, I'd like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ThisDuckShallEatYourPickleJar. This chapter is dedicated to you, and I love you lots! Anyways, I know I'm messing up the storyline even more, so just deal with it. Enjoy this chapter!**

That night, after I somehow made it onto the bed, I began sneezing. At first, no one cared about it, but my sneezes became more and more frequent throughout the night. Finn had eventually put in mini ear plugs.

"Ah…ah…AHCHOO!" The sneeze was so strong, I shot straight up. My head was beginning to hurt from the sneezing. I wiped my nose with one hand, and reached for the tissue box with the other. _Dammit, it's empty. _I looked around, looking for anything to wipe my nose wit, other than my hand.

Then, I spotted Finn's bed. I pulled it out from under Finn, causing him to roll off of my nightstand and straight into the trashcan, which was full of tissues used by me.

"Sorry," I apologized in a stuffy voice, blowing my nose.

"Angela, your just blew your nose on my bed! MY BED!" he shouted, peeling the sticky tissues off of him.

"Yeah, I think I have a cold or something."

"That's not the freakin' point! That was my _bed_!" He was up in my face now. I had to lean back because he was getting so close.

"Finn, we can always find you another bed, you know—ACHOO!" I accidentally sprayed all over him. He looked as outraged as a little fairy could look, which was actually adorable.

I offered a tissue up to him. "Tissue?"

Finn snatched it from my hand, furiously wiping his face off. Other than me blowing my nose, all was quiet. Once I tossed the last tissue into the already full trash can, I looked back Finn. "If you want, you can sleep on the pillow next to me," I suggested as I patted the fluffy pillow.

Finn glared at the pillow, and then me. "I'd rather sleep in the trash can."

I looked at him funny. "Wow I didn't know you liked tissues that much, Finn, but don't you think that's kinda gross?"

"That was a joke, you idiot! Good god, what's wrong with you…" he flew around the house. "What should I sleep on?" he said, mainly to himself. He noticed a towel lying around in the kitchen and immediately lied down on it, turning away from me. I shrugged and got comfortable on my bed once more, quickly falling back to sleep.

The next day, Finn and I were walking around, foraging for food to eat. The Harvest Goddess forgot about supplying my house with food, so we were stuck scrounging for food wherever we could find it. Most of the time, I could find some mushrooms growing if I looked in the right places. Another main staple of my diet was alcohol. Kathy always snuck me some booze in a flask whenever we ran into each other.

"Hey Angela, I found some berries over here!" Finn exclaimed. I looked up from the bushes I was searching and ran over to him. Unfortunately, my foot got caught in a hole and I did a face plant right in front of a huge, locked gate. "Owie…" I rubbed my head as I looked up at the gate.

"Angela, I said I found some berries! Do you want them, or not?"

"Finn, did you notice this gate when we came into this part of the forest?" I asked him, arranging myself so I sat on my knees.

Finn flew over with his arms full of colorful berries. I took a couple and shoved them into my mouth. "Yeah, I did," he replied with a berry halfway into his mouth.

"Then why didn't you point it out to me?"

"I wanted to see how long it would take for you to notice it, if you noticed it at all."

I frowned, but didn't say anything. After a while, I spoke up again. "Do you think we should ask anyone about the gate?"

"Why does it matter to us? There probably isn't anything important behind it."

I stood up, placing my hands on my hips. "You can't just make assumptions like that, Finn! For all we know, there could be a mass colony of flying squirrels back there, or maybe even a rare species of whale with the wings of a chicken!"

Finn sighed. "How much of that drink did you have?" he asked, nodding to the flask Kathy gave me.

I defensively placed a hand on it. "Not much, just a few sips."

Finn flew over and picked it up easily. "Angela, it's completely empty!"

"That's not the important thing here! We need to see what's behind that gate!" I declared with a fist in the air. Finn just groaned and banged his head against the nearest tree.

"Don't be so down Finny!" I twirled around. "It could be an adventure!"

"Whatever, let's just make this quick," Finn gave in.

"Okay, what should we do first?" I stroked my imaginary beard as I gazed intently at the gate. "We could always try asking around, or we could try blowing it up with the leftover dynamite from yesterday…" I went on for a while, listing off ideas to Finn.

"I think we should just ask around," he decided.

I pouted. "That's no fun!"

"Do you want a repeat of yesterday?" he asked, shivering at the memory.

"…Good point, Finn. Let's ask the people at Horny Ranch!"

"Don't you mean Horn Ranch?" he corrected.

"I like Horny Ranch, better!"

The people at the ranch took a look at the gate for us. They didn't have the key, but they believed that Dale the creepy carpenter had it. I reluctantly went to his shop, only to find him playing fetch with his freeze dried dog. This time, he gave me a bloodstained axe, claiming that I would need it. Once he forked over the key, I sped out of there as fast as I could.

Finally, I was back at the gate. "Alright, let's unlock this baby!"

When I opened the gate walked through it, all I saw was more forest. I was thoroughly disappointed that it was totally boring, but I decided to keep exploring. As I walked, I picked up more food to eat.

I was shoving a mushroom into my mouth when Finn piped up. "Angela, look over there!" he was pointing to a house.

"Oh, a house! Let's go see who lives there!" I skipped over to the front door. Just like everyone else's house in the town, her door was unlocked. Doesn't anyone worry about someone breaking into their houses?

When I walked inside, the first thing I noticed was a hot pink frog with a pointy hat sitting on a coffee table. "Oh my god, that frog is pink!" I pointed at it with wide eyes.

"That's all you're concerned about?" a voice asked from behind us. I turned around to see a guy about my age with tan skin and short silver hair. He had one silver braid on one side of his head going down to his chin. I stood there, staring at him.

"I don't recognize you from town," I said, staring at him. I noticed that he was dressed funny, too. He had a black shirt, white capris, and a long blue coat. He wore black boots and a bunch of weird looking necklaces.

"There's a reason why people don't see me," he smirked, walking closer to me.

"You're not like, a pedophile right? If you are, don't come any closer because I have an axe," I threatened, holding the axe up like I knew how to use it.

The guy laughed at me. "You're weird. And no, I'm not a pedophile. I am a wizard."

"Yeah, like I'm gonna believe that you're a wizard," I snorted.

He raised an eyebrow. "Fine, I'll prove it to you." He held his hand out as if he wanted me to grab it. "Don't worry, I don't bite."

I decided to grab his hand and humor him. As soon as I did, I was hovering a couple feet off of the ground. "Okay, okay I believe you!" I panicked as he laughed again. He lowered me to the ground and let go of my hand.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"I'm Angela, what's your name?"

"Hm, you can call me Wizard."

I stared at him. "Wizard? Really?"

"Yeah, really," he nodded. "Anyways, you're probably wondering who this frog is."

I thought about it for a moment. "I guess I am."

Wizard patted it on the head. "She _was _a normal witch, until I caught her stealing my marshmallows one night. I changed her into a frog as punishment. Yeah, this is her house, too," he explained.

"Oooohhh, I get it," I nodded. Then, Finn poked me, signaling that we should leave. "Well, this has been nice and all, Wizard, but I really do need to get going—,"

"Wait, I need you to run an errand for me," he interrupted. "I need you to get me butter, cornmeal, and a hibiscus."

My eye began to twitch. "What is it with people these days? They just think that I'll run whatever errands they want, but NO! I already have enough shit to do right now, so I don't need you making my life even more complicated than it already freakin' is!" I shouted at him, wildly swinging my axe around.

Wizard just watched me calmly, waiting until I finished blowing up. "Alright, I'll get them myself," he answered. "But, one of these days, you _will _repay me. No one ever makes Wizard do his own dirty work."

"Okay, see ya!" I gave him a two finger salute before walking out of the witch's house.

I headed back into town, deciding that I would try to complete another bell quest. The next bell I had to ring was Ben's blue bell. The instructions told me to go talk to a guy name Paolo and get a key to the Watery Cave. When I found him, I tried talking to him, but he ended up asking me to use the town aqueduct system, so I threatened him with my axe. In the end, he gave me the key, and made the system work by himself.

Once I went inside the cave, Finn found the blue bell on its pedestal. I cheered as I skipped towards it. "Alrighty Ben, come out wherever you are!"

He appeared in front of us smiling. "Hello!"

"Ring your bell, please!" I smiled, finally happy that I didn't have to do much for this bell.

"Alright, this will only take a minute!" he spun around a couple of times before facing the bell.

When Ben tried to ring it, it wouldn't work. He tried again, but it still didn't work. "Uh, I think it's broken," he told us in a small voice.

"It won't ring?" Finn asked.

"Oh, I'll make it ring," I said, storming towards the bell. "Look, you're gonna freakin' ring, whether you like it or not, because I have had it with you bells!" I screamed at it. "All you do is make my life a living hell and it's driving me INSANE! So, you're gonna ring, or I swear to god, I will set you on fire and do a native dance! NOW RING, DAMMIT!" I kicked it as hard as I could and the bell began to ring. However, all of the rainbow music notes actually did aim straight for me, stabbing me thousands of times.

I got the bell to ring, but I did go home covered in cuts and bruises from head to toe. Finn kept telling me that getting hurt would be worth it in the long run, but I refused to believe him.

**Alrighty, there it is! The blue bell quest was completed in the most painful way possible. Again, happy birthday to ThisDuckShallEatYourPickleJar. I hope that you like it! Please review my story, everyone! They make me SUPER happy!**


	9. She Could've Been Watching Soap Operas

**Hello everybody! This chapter is the green bell quest. I can't believe that I only have two more bell chapters to write. Don't worry; I'll continue this after the bells, because I have LOTS of ideas for our dearest Angela and Finn. Now I will say this once and only once; I do NOT, in any way, shape, or form own Harvest Moon. If I did, I wouldn't be writing any fanfictions. Ugh, I hate disclaimers so much…*grumbles about hatred for disclaimers.* Enjoy!**

"Owwwww, that hurts…." I whined as Finn dabbed at my cuts with rubbing alcohol. It was cute though, because the cotton balls that Finn used were almost the same size as his body.

"Maybe next time, you shouldn't be so rude to the bells."

"Why should I? Bells don't have feelings!" I winced as Finn worked on a cut behind my ear.

"Magical bells do, and they don't appreciate mean people. That, I learned in fairy school," he explained.

"You failed fairy school, so you can shut up!"

We fell silent for a while, and Finn finished cleaning my cuts. Finally, he spoke back up. "These cotton balls are really nice, how did you get them?"

"I stole them from the clinic," I replied, snuggling up in a blanket on the couch.

"When did you steal cotton balls?"

"I snagged a couple bags before I went to the bar that one day," I answered. "You know, after we rang the red bell? Oh yeah, and I stole a box of latex gloves, too!"

"…Latex Gloves? Seriously?" Finn looked at me like I was stupid.

I nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, they're really fun to blow up and play with!"

"Are you insane?" Finn spazzed out.

"I just stole a couple things, it's not like I'm a bad person, or anything."

"No, I could care less that you stole, but couldn't you have gotten something…I don't know, less lame, like a stethoscope?" Finn yelled.

"Well yeesh, I'm sorry I didn't steal the right things, Finn!" I argued back before grabbing my flyswatter and slamming him into the coffee table. I smirked triumphantly, falling asleep within five minutes.

When I woke up, it was probably around five in the morning. I saw Finn, still on the coffee table, squashed like a bug. It took me a while to sit up due to my bruised body. My stomach was growling like crazy since I only had one meal the previous day.

I had a big glass of water, hoping that I wouldn't be as hungry, but all it made me do was pee about ten times in one hour. Sometime later, Finn woke up and we went back to the Fugue Forest to gather more food. It took me twice as long to walk there, or should I say limp, and Finn ended up doing most of the work.

I leaned against a tree trunk, aiming my rifle at a nearby bird. Finn eyed me suspiciously. "You won't actually shoot it, will you?"

I shrugged. "We could cook it. It would be a change from the usual berries and mush-," I was cut off by a loud bang. That's when I realized that someone else had shot the bird. By now, Finn was hiding in my hair, trembling.

"Hey, that was going to be _my _bird!" I shouted at the mystery person. They stepped out of the shadows and revealed themselves.

It was a girl with long white hair and bangs. She wore a tight black shirt and short, poofy, black and white striped shorts with black socks going up to her thigh and a pointy black hat. "You're Angela," was all she said, completely ignoring the dead bird. In her hand was a really expensive looking rifle with a scope and everything. It made mine look like a piece of crap.

"You stole my bird!" I complained, not moving from my spot.

"Oh shut up about the bird!" she snapped, walking closer to me, putting her rifle on her shoulder.

"So…how do you know my name?" I asked, attempting to be nice.

"I was that pink frog you saw yesterday," she explained.

I nodded slowly. "Oh, so you're the witch that Wizard complained about."

The witch looked pissed off when I mentioned him. "Ugh, he's so annoying! I hate that little worm. All I wanted was a couple stupid marshmallows for my s'mores and he had to go turn me into a frog," she grumbled.

I was confused. "Well that's nice, but exactly why are you talking to me?"

She looked up at me. "Hm? Oh yeah, I need you to come to my house. You're the perfect test subject for my new spell."

"I'll do it if I get something out of it," I decided.

"Let's negotiate at my house."

The witch had to help me to the house, much to her annoyance. When we got there, I sat down on a couch. "So why am I the perfect test subject?" I asked while the witch pulled out a big old looking book.

She flipped through the worn pages as she sat down next to me. "You have shown that you can withstand great deals of pain."

"How can you tell that?" I asked, picking at a loose thread on my shirt.

"I have been keeping an eye on you ever since you moved here. Never in my life have I seen someone go through so much and barely be fazed by it. Not to mention, I've never seen a human consume so much alcohol in one night without dying."

I smiled, remembering the night at the bar. "Yeah, drinking is a hobby of mine."

"Okay, I need you to look at me," she instructed.

I looked right at her amber eyes. "What kind of spell are you doing?"

The witch was reading some mumbo jumbo out loud. All of a sudden, I was zapped by a huge lightning bolt. The volts rocked my whole body and I somehow managed to kick myself in the face, but I wasn't in terrible pain. The only thing that hurt was my bruises.

My hair stood straight up on end and my face was charred. I blinked a couple times and looked back at the witch. "That wasn't so bad," I admitted, scratching my side.

"Damn!" the witch cursed and stood up, pacing the length of the couch. "That spell was supposed to cause serious pain, and then blast you into nothingness! I thought that I had perfected the modifications when I tested it out on that ferret! Meaningless! My months and months of actual research were meaningless! I could've been watching my soap operas instead!" she ranted, tugging on her hair.

I watched silently as the witch's speech was growing louder and more violent, with objects flying around her. Poor Finn got smashed by a projectile coffee maker. Amongst all of the flying objects, I saw a bag of Doritos and snatched it out of the air as it came my way. I munched on them while I watched Finn crawl out from under the coffee maker, only to be crushed by a flower pot.

"Maybe you should go hunting," I suggested to the witch, who was now carving very rude words into her wall with a butcher knife.

"Hunting…yeah…" the witch's eye was twitching as she grabbed her rifle and walked out the door.

I relaxed and let my legs hang over the arm of the couch. When I finished the Doritos, I tossed the bag on the ground with the rest of the mess. "I'm still hungry. Let's see what the witch has to eat."

Her refrigerator was full of a bunch of creepy things, like frozen lizards, oversized bugs, and rooster heads. I got thoroughly freaked out looking through her fridge, but I finally found a Ziploc bag of leftover pizza. I took the biggest slice and slammed the fridge door with my foot.

As I took a bite of the pizza, something caught my eye. I looked over and saw the green bell!

"Hey Finn, I found the green bell!" I exclaimed, running over to it. I tripped a couple times, but I still made it. Finn could barely fly, let alone drag himself, so I scooted him over using my pizza.

"Well whaddya know," he managed. With one hand holding Finn and my rifle, the other on the bell, and the pizza in my mouth, I ran out of the witch's house. As I ran through the forest, I prayed that the witch wouldn't see me and realize that I had stolen from her.

Luckily, I made it out of the forest without getting caught. I stood right outside the forest, pulling the list out of my pocket to see where the green bell frame was. It said it was inside the windmill at Horny Ranch.

I was thankful that the walk to Horny Ranch wasn't that long. Once I made sure that no one was watching I headed over to the windmill and went inside.

"You know," Finn said as we walked up to the bell frame. "After this, we only have one bell left to ring."

I gasped as I put the bell on its frame. "Holy crap, I never thought about that! Finally, we'll be able to sleep in all day!"

Just then, the little sprite, Daren, appeared, smiling. "Yay, you found my bell!"

"I have a quick question," I said. "Why couldn't you just get the bell yourself? I mean, you _are _magical, right?"

Daren looked up at me. "Why would I look for it if I knew you were going to get it for me? I mean, just because I'm a harvest sprite doesn't mean I don't have a life. I have drugs to deal—I mean, uh…cats to feed…heh heh…" his eyes darted around the room.

"Good point," I agreed. "Now, let's ring this bell!"

Before Daren had even gotten started chanting, I had got down on the ground and covered my head, prepared for the evil music notes. None of the notes had stabbed me, so I was super relieved.

After Daren disappeared, I walked up to the green bell. "Um if you ever talk to the blue bell, uh, put in a good word for me so it won't like, murder me next time," I asked the bell.

When I walked back home, I received a bunch of weird looks from the townspeople. _They're probably jealous of the spiky hair,_ I thought as I strutted down the road.

**Well, I hope that you guys like this! I think that this wasn't my best chapter, but I had a bad case of writer's block today, so I'm sorry if it sucked. Anyways, I want to hear your thoughts on the story and what you think should happen after the bell quests! Tell me your ideas in your reviews!**


	10. Lightning Burps and More Alcohol

**OH MY GODDESS this is the tenth chapter! I'm so proud of myself for making it this far! As you all know, this is the last bell quest, but have no fear! There will be more adventures yet to come! Anyways, enjoy the chapter!**

The next day was really weird. I began having odd side affects from the witch's spell. Everytime I ever burped, farted, or even sneezed, someone close by me would get struck by lightning. Finn was the first to get hit, but he didn't die from it. No one did, but they still got really pissed off.

I walked to the Brass Bar and took a seat at the counter. I had just electrocuted the old lady who owned the tailor shop, and I was craving some booze. "I'll have the usual," I told Kathy, handing her my empty flask. She took it and refilled it when Hayden was busy checking out his biceps. "We only have beer behind the counter. The wine is in the back and Hayden would notice if I went back there," Kathy apologized. I shrugged, not caring as long as I had alcohol.

When she gave me my flask back, Chase the young cook, caught us. "What are you two up to?" he asked warily, walking closer to us. If he found out that I was drinking all of the bar's alcohol, I would surely be banned and Kathy would be fired.

"Uh-oh," Kathy muttered.

I gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I got this." I unscrewed the cap on my flask and chugged its contents before Chase could cross the length of the restaurant.

He stood before us with his arms crossed, his eyes boring holes into us. I hopped off of the bar stool and took a few more steps closer to him. Then, I let out a nasty burp in his face. Chase then got struck by a random lightning bolt and crumpled to the ground, his leg twitching every once in a while.

No one even bothered caring about the weird things I did to people anymore. It happened all the time recently, and they just learned not to ask questions and go on with their lives.

I took my seat on the stool and Kathy sat next to me. "Well, I don't think Chase will be ratting us out, anytime soon," she laughed, giving me a high five.

We talked for a while longer, and then I left to go to the church in order to ring the last bell. According to my list, the purple bell was located in there, somewhere. The priest in training was reading Sports Illustrated in one of the pews.

"Hey, I have a question," I told him, breaking the silence.

The priest looked startled and a bit flustered as he stashed the magazine under the pew. "W-what do you need?"

"Does there happen to be, I don't know, a giant purple bell in here?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah—it's the door to your right."

I patted his bowl-cut. "Thanks, Percy!"

"It's Perry," he called as I skipped towards the door.

"I don't care!" I shot back in a sing-song voice. I opened the door and saw the purple bell, right there. In front of the bell, Edge the harvest sprite, was sitting there and crying his eyes out. Actually, he was rolling on the ground screaming bloody murder.

"Uh Edge, are you okay?" Finn asked, afraid to get close to the sprite.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" was our only reply. We tried getting his attention a couple more times, but I was pretty sure that he didn't even know we were there.

"Ugh, how will we get him to shut up?" Finn asked, tugging on his hair.

An idea popped into my head. "I know what to do." I let out a burp that had been building up inside me. Edge was struck by the lightning. As mean as it sounds, I thought he looked so cute when he was electrocuted.

I got down on my knees and poked him. "You still alive?" I asked, hoping that I didn't kill him.

"I'm fine…" he sighed, sitting up.

"What's wrong?" I scooped him up into my hands and put him up to level with my eyes. "Is your bell not ringing for you?"

"No, I ran out of Xanex and I have to wait until Monday to get a refill!" he sobbed, clinging onto my index finger.

I patted his head. "I'm sorry, little guy. Sadly, I don't have any pills to help, but do you want to have something to drink?" I held up my flask. Before I left the bar, I had Kathy give me a refill. "It will take the edge off…heh heh, I said edge…that's your name," I giggled at my sad excuse for a joke.

Edge and Finn just stared at me. I rolled my eyes. "Yeesh, tough crowd," I complained. "Open your mouth," I ordered Edge. He obeyed as I let him drink.

When he finished, he was stumbling around in my hand. Obviously, sprites get drunk very quickly. "Whoo, that hit the spot!" he cheered.

"Okay, now ring the bell, please!" Finn said, eager to get the last bell over with.

Edge hiccupped. "Okay, Finny!" He tried to fly off my hand, but he forgot to use his wings and ended up crashing to the ground. Finn and I were silent as we waited for Edge to get back up, but he didn't.

"Uh, Edge?" I leaned in close to him. Luckily, he was just passed out. "Wow, he really can't handle his alcohol well."

We were silent for a while longer. "So, how about we go kill some time until he wakes up?" Finn suggested.

"Sure, let's go."

The first place we headed to was the Garmon Mine District. I stood at the front of the dirt road. "I think I want to zap some people right now," I declared, examining the crowd of people.

"Sounds like fun!" Finn grinned. "Zap that lady, the one who owns the general store."

"Alrighty," I cracked my knuckles, back, and neck. "Let's do this."

I walked up to the green haired lady and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and smiled at me. My mouth was wide open and I waited for the burp to come, but nothing happened. The lady just looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something.

I tried again, but nothing came out. "Dammit!" I shouted, storming away. Finn followed behind me.

"Angela what's wrong, nothing happened?"

"I can't burp! They just aren't coming!"

"Well why don't you just get a soda or some beans?" he said.

I stopped in my tracks. "Finn, that's brilliant!"

We jacked a Pepsi from the general store when no one was watching. Finn cheered me on as I chugged the whole thing under thirty seconds. Then, I tossed the can aside and looked around for someone else. That's when I saw the little girl I punted a few days earlier.

I skipped up to her and bent down so I was closer to her face. She smiled up at me. "Hi there!" Then, I let out a monstrous burp that hurt my ears, it was so loud. The lightning bolt shot the little girl far, far away, deep into a forest. Her scream got smaller and smaller the further she went away.

I grinned triumphantly and placed my hands on my hips. Finn was cracking up so much that he couldn't even fly straight. "Oh that was too good!" he managed to get out between laughs.

All of a sudden, I had started hiccupping. At first, I didn't pay any attention to it, but I realized that I had zapped Finn for the second time that day. I hiccupped again and I zapped Luke, the carpenter's son who was obsessed with bandanas.

No matter how much I tried to stop my hiccups, they just kept coming. When they did stop, I noticed that I had pretty much electrocuted everyone who lived in the mine district. They were all scattered around, lying on the ground. Some were still smoking from the lightning, but others just twitched every once in a while. "Oh crap." I bit my lip, wondering what to do next. In the end I decided to grab Finn and run.

While I waited for Finn to wake up, I decided to go to the tailor shop and browse. Luckily, the old lady had recovered and was back to normal from being zapped. I tried on a couple things just for fun, since I didn't actually have any money to spend, but I still stole a couple pairs of boy's boxers since they were out of girls' undies. It wasn't like they had any security systems around to catch me, anyways.

As I walked around the town, Finn finally woke up. "Ow, that hurt," he whined, wriggling out of my pocket.

"How bad did it hurt?" I asked, putting my hands behind my head.

"It felt like I was getting pimp slapped by Mother Nature."

I nodded. "That sounds like it would hurt."

"Indeed."

After walking around a little while longer, we went back to the church to check on Edge. Thankfully, he was awake and not screaming, although he was crying.

"Now would be a good time to ring the bell," I told him.

"B-but, I have a hangover and my head hurts," he cried.

"Too bad, ring the freaking bell, or I will go get my rifle and-,"

"OKAY, OKAY I'll ring the stupid bell!" Edge quit crying and did his little chant thingy while crying.

Without thinking, I had already got down on the ground and covered my head. As the bell rang, I smiled to myself, realizing that starting right then, I could sleep in as long as I wanted. I know that Finn was thinking the exact same thing.

"Alright, the bell has rung," Edge cried, banging his head on the floor.

"Uh, thanks," I said, before walking out of the room.

"Wow, no wonder Edge takes Xanex," Finn thought aloud.

I snorted. "Seriously."

Finn and I didn't say anything for a few moments, processing the fact that there were no more bells to ring.

"So, what should we do now?" I asked Finn as we left the church grounds.

Finn looked up at me. "What do you think?"

I smiled and thrust my fist in the air. "To the bar!"

Sadly, I did not know that I still had MORE work to do for our lovely Harvest Goddess in store.

**OMIGOD I finished the tenth chapter! I'm so happy for me. Anyways, I want you to give me all of your ideas for what Angela should do now that the bells are finished. Don't forget, she still has to summon the Harvest King! Please review!**


	11. Fishing The Fish of Classic Rock

**OMIGOD I finished the tenth chapter! I'm so happy for me. Anyways, I want you to give me all of your ideas for what Angela should do now that the bells are finished. Don't forget, she still has to summon the Harvest King! Please review!**

**Okay, here's the next chapter where Angela has to become a hero! I wonder how she'll handle that. Read and find out, and don't forget to review at the end!**

"Ah, I'm happy," I sighed, lounging on a picnic blanket outside my house.

"I know, it's so nice not having to do anything," Finn replied from his spot next to my head.

The sun was shining outside and there was a nice breeze, so we had just relaxed all day, doing nothing except nap. I turned up the volume on my radio just a little bit before drifting back into a light sleep.

A few hours later, I felt someone shaking me awake. I smacked their hand away and opened my eyes a little. The Harvest Goddess kneeled beside me, looking just as awful as she normally does. "Get up, lazy," she ordered while yawning.

"Ugh, don't bother me. I finished my work already," I whined, closing my eyes again.

"No, your work is far from finished, Angela."

I lifted my head up and stared at her. "What do you mean? I rang the stupid bells, so I'm done."

"_No_, you still have to summon the Harvest King for me," she corrected, examining her nails.

"…Are you serious?" I grabbed a fistful of blanket in my hands, quickly getting pissed off.

"Yup, and before you can summon him, you have to earn the title Hero."

"WHAT?" I screamed. I slammed Finn into the ground with my fist. He sure did come in handy when I needed to relieve stress.

Finn was startled awake. He looked up at us, rubbing his eyes. "What's going on?"

"Finn," I said through gritted teeth. "Did you know that we _still _have to work for the Goddess?"

His eyes went wide. "Really? I thought we already did everything!"

"Nope, we have to become heroes!" I cheered sarcastically.

Finn just stared off into space, not moving a muscle. "Ah," the Goddess said. "He's in shock. He should be better within the hour."

"So, what exactly do we have to do to become heroes?" I asked, pulling up grass and sprinkling it on Finn until I couldn't see him anymore.

"Oh, I have a list for that!" The Goddess pulled yet another list fro her bra and handed it to me.

I opened it up and read through it. "How do you expect me to make all of this money in one season?" I shrieked.

"Well, you only have to make all of that money in one of the four categories: produce, crops, fishing, or mining."

I nodded slowly. "Well we can forget crops and produce, because I don't farm, so that leaves mining and fishing. I'm scared of the mines, so I guess that leaves me with fishing."

"And remember, if you don't finish it by the end of this season, you can try again next season!" the Goddess smiled before poofing away.

I ran a hand through my hair and fell back onto the blanket. _What have I done to deserve this? _I thought.

"I guess we should get started on this fishing thing before it's too late," Finn spoke up, spitting blades of grass out of his mouth.

"Fine, but only because I want to get this out of the way," I huffed, getting up. "Let's just go to the fishery."

We unwillingly headed into the fishery. As soon as I walked in, I gagged from the awful smell of the fish.

"Oh look, a newbie!" a guy's voice chuckled.

I looked up at him and glared. He was a squinty eyed guy wearing a straw hat. "Don't worry," he said, patting my shoulder. "Everyone who comes here for the first time always has the same reaction. I'm Ozzie, by the way."

I grumbled incoherent things to him. He walked back to behind the counter and leaned against it. "So what can I do for ya?"

"Uh, I want to learn how to fish," I asked awkwardly. Finn did a face-palm.

"Ah, I love it when young people are eager to learn how to fish!"

"I'm not."

"You must be so happy!"

"…Not really."

"I just love your enthusiasm!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I snapped. "Just teach me how to fish so I can freakin' leave!"

Ozzie laughed a hearty laugh. "Alright, my nephew Toby can teach you," he decided before turning around. "Hey Toby!" he shouted.

A squinty white haired boy walked out from another room in the shop. "Yes?" he answered in a creepy soft voice.

"You're going to teach this fine young lady how to fish," he announced, nodding in my direction.

Toby looked at me, but it seemed like his eyes were closed and it was creeping me out. "Okay, let's go."

I stayed far behind him as we walked to the beach. Toby walked up to a small boat and untied it from the dock.

"Uh, can't we just fish from the shore?" I asked.

Toby laughed a creepy laugh. "Why would we do that? We won't catch any fish that way."

"Oh, well just don't go so far out that people can't see us," I told him as I stepped onto the boat.

Toby gave me an old fishing rod. "You can use this."

I looked at it, grimacing. I was covered in mold and I swore that I saw maggots crawling on it. "Are there any nicer fishing rods?"

"Yes, but we're too cheap to give you one!"

I grabbed it with my thumb and forefinger. "Ew."

For the first hour, Toby took his time talking about different types of bait. I spent that time banging my head against tackle box. The next two hours we did warm up exercises to make sure I could cast the line properly. Then, we did Pilates for two more hours, and THEN we actually started to fish. The actual fishing lasted four hours.

We didn't get back to shore until eleven at night. I stumbled off of the boat and dragged myself to my house.

I flopped onto my bed and sighed. Finn sat down next to me. "So how many fish did you catch? I never kept count."

"One, and it was a lame little fishy only worth 11 G." I covered my face with a pillow.

"Oh, well that sucks."

"How am I going to catch enough fish this season? Toby wasn't any help to me, since he just slept half the time and let's face it; I suck at fishing!" I complained, hurling my pillow at Finn as hard as possible.

Finn managed to get back up and patted my head. "You weren't _that _awful at it. You're almost decent enough to somewhat make 40,000 G…not really, I'm just trying to be nice. You actually suck," he admitted.

"Gee, thanks a lot! I thought you were supposed to help me!" I grabbed the pillow again and slapped Finn with it so he was slammed into my nightstand.

"Look," he said, face down on the nightstand. "How about we just go back to the beach and try just one more time before we go to bed."

I sighed heavily and sat up. "I suppose it's worth a shot. I can't do any worse than I already have."

We walked down to the beach with my rotting fishing rod in hand and a jar of stolen bait. Untying the boat wasn't that easy, and I ended up getting about eleven splinters from the wood post. Luckily, the boat wasn't hard to drive.

When I was out far enough, I stopped the boat and situated myself on one side of the boat with my bait next to me. The first couple of tries were absolute failures. The fish would eat the bait and then swim off. They were just too smart for me.

I reeled my line back, swearing loudly as I realized my bait was gone. "Ugh, I need more bait!" I shoved my hand into the bait jar, grabbing the first thing I felt and jabbed it onto the rusty hook. With all of my strength, I threw the line back into the water.

Just as I threw the line in, I had heard a girly scream. I looked around, wondering who it was. "Finn, did you hear that?"

There was no answer from Finn. "Finn, where'd you go?" I asked. "That's funny; he had been right next to me on the bait jar…oh shit."

All of a sudden, there was a violent tug on my line. It was so hard, I almost fell off the boat. "Oh there's a fishy on my line!" I cheered, tugging with equal fierceness. Getting that fish was the one thing I wanted more than anything…and Finn…who was inside the fish.

Whatever it was, it had to be super strong because I could barely turn the little handle to reel it in. Then, I placed both feet on the edge of the boat and leaned back with all of my weight. The fish and I fought back and forth for a minute, but I was reeling it in slowly. I got to the point where its massive head was sticking out of the water.

"HOLY COW! You're huge!" I shouted at it.

"Thanks!" it replied in a deep voice.

"Omygod you talk!" I screamed.

Finally, I don't know how I managed it, but I dragged the HUGE fish onto the boat. That was really hard though, since the fish was way bigger than the boat. It scared me when it flopped around, because it almost tipped the whole boat over and sang classic rock.

I scrambled to the other end of the boat and grabbed my rifle, which I had brought with us. When the boat was finally somewhat steady, I shot the monster in its side. After it calmed down (or died, I wasn't quite sure what happened to it), I pried the mouth open and yanked the line out of there. I detached Finn from the hook.

He was hyperventilating like crazy. When he wouldn't stop, I grabbed his body and slammed his head on the rim of the bait jar multiple times.

"Okay I'm good!" he gasped. I let him go and he flew in front of me. I noticed a giant red mark going across his forehead from me hitting him. He blinked a couple times before staring at the oversized fish. "Did you catch that?"

I smirked. "Yup!"

Finn looked shocked. "It's huge!"

I squealed. "That's what I said!"

All of a sudden, Finn passed out from shock. I shrugged, starting the engine up again. The boat took five times as long just to get to shore because of the whale-fish. By the time I got it on land, it was two in the morning. I used Finn to wipe all of the sweat off of my head and sat down next to the beast. I wasn't quite sure what to do next, so I just decided to go to sleep.

The next morning, there was a huge crowd around me. They all gaped at my fishy in amazement. The little girl I punted skipped up to me. "Congratulations for catching that fish, Angela!" she smiled. Someone had told me her name, but I couldn't seem to remember it. Cleo, Clarissa maybe? _Oh well, screw it, _I thought before standing up.

I lifted the little girl up and punted her back into the mayor, who was just walking to the beach to see my fish. They rolled away at full speed, soon disappearing out of sight.

"Hey Angela!" someone called.

I looked to see that it was Chase. "How much do you want for that fish?" he asked, pulling out a boatload of cash.

"I'll give her five thousand!" Dale the creepy carpenter offered.

"I'll give her TEN thousand!" Gill, the mayor's son shouted.

Everyone argued until someone offered me seventy thousand G. "Alright!" I shouted. "Seventy thousand it is! The fish goes to that weird old guy over there!" I announced.

"My name is Ramsey, you should know this by now!" he snapped.

"Shut up old man!" I glared at him. "Now just gimme the cash and leave!"

"But this is public property!"

"SILENCE IMBECILES!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Everyone fell silent and looked at me. A short while after that, I had my seventy thousand G. The best part was that I had thirty thousand G to burn.

Finn and I relaxed on a blanket outside my house. He turned over to look at me. "Shouldn't we give the money to the Goddess now?"

I waved that thought away with my hand. "Screw the Harvest Goddess. I need my rest. Ask me again when I actually care."

"And when will that be? Never?"

"…Well, yeah…oh just ask me tomorrow!" I gave up, flattening Finn with my flyswatter.

**Oh I'm so sorry that I didn't update earlier today! I had MAJOR writer's block and it drove me crazy! Plus, I was kinda watching Death Note…heh heh…**


	12. The Summoning

**Okay, I know I've been a little late with updates, so you'll just have to freakin' deal with it for a while. This is the long awaited chapter—summoning the Harvest King! Yay, Harvest Goddess can finally get her drugs back! Enjoy!**

"Angela, wake up!" Finn jumped up and down on my cheek. "Let's go summon the Harvest King!"

I growled at Finn, pissed off for being woken up. I grabbed him by the head and threw him against the wall. "Don't wake me up this early again," I snarled, pulling the covers over my head.

"No need to be so rough! Besides, it's already noon," Finn replied, yanking on the curtains to let light in the room.

"Harvest King is going to have to wait."

"What happened to 'the sooner the better,' Angela?" Finn asked me, sitting on my side. "You know I want this over with just as much as you do, but at least I actually try to do something about it."

I threw the covers off of me. "Fine, let's summon the stupid Harvest King…"

After I got ready, we left my house. I pulled out the list for the last time. "Now, this says that we have to go through the Garmon Upper Mine to reach the king's seat. Aw, not another mine mission! I hate mines!" I crumpled the paper up and threw it off to the side.

"Well, we don't have much of a choice," Finn sighed.

We walked to the mine district while we ate actual food. Since I had money, I could actually buy things instead of practically starving ourselves. "This food is so good!" I said with my mouth full.

"Anything is better than the shitty berries and mushrooms around here," Finn replied.

"I know!"

I stopped in my tracks when we reached the entrance to the upper mines. My previous trips to the mines had traumatized me, and I did not want to go back there again. I'd rather catch another giant singing fish. "Okay, let's go."

The trek to the king's seat was long and very, very boring. I didn't run into as many things this time, but it took me twice as long to reach the top. Finally, I reached the top. I clawed my way out, dirt covering my face. Finn came out without a scratch since he could fly. _Stupid Finn_.

"AH!" I gasped. "Success is mine!"

"Took you long enough," Finn muttered under his breath.

I whipped him with my flyswatter. "Face the wrath of my bedazzled flyswatter of evil!"

Finn rubbed the spot where I hit him. "Wait, _bedazzled_?" he asked.

"Yup!" I grinned as I held up my flyswatter. It had hot pink rhinestones on it spelling out Finn's name. "Isn't it adorable?"

"Uh sure, if you say so."

I stood up and looked at the stone steps. If you took one wrong step, you could fall off of them and off the cliff. I trembled just looking at them.

"Hey Angela!" I heard.

I looked past the stairs to see all five of the Harvest Sprites jumping up and down and waving at me. The Harvest Goddess was off to the side, banging her head on a large rock. "Must…get…my…drugs!" She banged her head after each word.

"Well, let's go!" Finn flew to the other side of the steps. I was still standing by the cave entrance. "What are you waiting for?"

"You expect me to go across those steps?" I shrieked.

"…Yeah…"

The sprites quit jumping. They had grown bored and had begun a game of poker off to the side. Finn flew back to me. "Don't worry, you won't die!" Finn assured me.

"How do you know?" I sobbed. "You failed fairy school!"

Finn rolled his eyes. "Just walk up the stupid stairs already!"

"FINE!" I stomped up the steps with my hand wrapped around Finn's neck.

Once I made it across, I let Finn go and threw a rock at the Goddess's head. "Huh? Oh, hi Angela!" She stood up and brushed the dirt off of her long dress.

"Hey."

"Now that everyone's here, let's summon that stupid son of a bitch—I mean, the Harvest King," she giggled.

The sprites got up from their poker game and stood in a circle.

"Ring, red bell!"

"Ring, blue bell!"

"Go, yellow bell!"

"Nngh, green bell."

"Purple bell…"

All of the bells were ringing and surprisingly didn't shoot out any rainbow notes at me. "Whew, thank god…" I sighed, getting off of the ground. A tall man with really long, bright red hair pulled back in a braid floated down from the sky. He wore a white and red toga-like dress and looked really pissed off.

"Who woke me up from my nap?" his voice boomed. _I'm assuming that's the Harvest King…_

Everyone pointed at me. My eyes went wide. "Hey, the Goddess made me do it!" I shouted, pointing to her.

The Harvest King turned his attention to the Goddess. "Ugh, what do you want?"

"Oh, I think you know very well what I want, Ignis."

"FOOL!" he screamed at her. "You do NOT go around saying my name! No one is supposed to know it!"

Harvest Goddess rolled her eyes. "Oh no one cares about that anymore. It's not a big deal, you baby. Now just give me the stuff," she ordered, holding out her hand expectantly.

"Oh is this what you want, _Sephia_?" he grinned evilly, holding up a grocery bag full of something.

"Yes, now just hand it over!" she groaned.

The Harvest King looked confused. "Shouldn't you be mad that I used your name?"

"Pssh, like I give a damn who knows my name," she snorted, snatching the bag from him. She poofed away, flipping Ignis off as she disappeared.

Once the Harvest Goddess was gone, there was a long awkward silence. I was kind of afraid to move while the Harvest King was right in front of me. As we all stood there, Edge began to cry again.

"Shut up!" Harvest King ordered. "Or face my wrath!"

Edge kept crying. The Harvest King crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "Alright, as punishment…you must eat the Taco of Misery!" he declared.

Edge just kept crying. I'm pretty sure that he didn't hear a word that the Harvest King had said. I backed up a bit. "Well, it looks about time for me to leave, so…yeah."

"Halt, mortal!" he called.

I turned around to look at him, afraid that he might make me eat a Taco of Misery. "Y-yeah?"

"Since you now know my name, you must come to my castle for interrogation," he explained. "I can't have just any human walking around with such important knowledge."

My eyes darted around nervously. "So, does that mean I can stay alive?"

"If I find you worthy," he answered in a murderous tone.

My eye twitched, but I was too freakin' scared to say anything. I just followed him with Finn sitting on my shoulder. Hell, I was so scared that I didn't even care that we were flying to a castle that floats in the sky.

The castle was huge and gray, pretty typical. It was guarded by big scary men that looked like they could shatter me into pieces just by poking me. The inside was freakishly modern and colorful. I hate to admit it, but the Harvest King had an eye for design. I had noticed that there were a bunch of sprites working as servants and maids in his castle.

Finally, we reached a door at the end of a hallway. Two sprites escorted me in, seating me on an extremely tasteful couch. "Nice place, dude," I complimented, getting over my shock.

The Harvest King ignored my comment and sat down across from me. He had a couple papers in his hand. "Fill these out," he demanded, shoving them in my face.

"Uh, okay." I took the papers and looked at them. "Um Mr. Harvest King? I need something to write with—OW!" I was cut off when he threw a pen at me.

"Just write," he ordered.

Finn read the questions from his spot on my shoulder. "_What is your favorite color? Do you prefer limes over lemons? _What kind of retarded questions are these?" he muttered.

"I don't know, just don't say anything," I hissed back.

"What was that?" the Harvest King asked suspiciously.

I laughed nervously. "Oh, I'm just talking to myself. It helps my brain function properly."

Harvest King simply shrugged. As I filled out my papers, he snapped his fingers. "Sarah!" he called.

I looked up to see an adorable little sprite fly up to him. "Yes, you're Highness?" I heard Finn choke a bit.

"Fetch me some tea," he said.

Sarah bowed. "Yes, you're High—," she stopped talking when she looked at Finn. I saw her eyes grow wide.

"Is there something wrong, Sarah?" the Harvest King asked.

Sarah shook her head. "N-no, you're Highness, my apologies. You're tea will be here shortly." With that, she quickly flew out of the room.

The King chuckled. "Ah, Sarah is quite fun to watch. It's no wonder she's my favorite servant."

Finn had become a statue by then. "What's wrong with you, Finn?" I poked him.

"What? Oh, I-I'm okay, just a little uh, well…I'm not feeling too hot right now," he stuttered. I didn't pay attention and kept filling out the papers. Then, Finn spoke up again. "Uh, is there a bathroom somewhere?"

Harvest King looked up. "Down the hall, third door to your right."

Finn shot up from my shoulder, zooming towards the door. At first, he ran into the wall and then went through the tiny door inside the big door.

Eventually, I was done with the papers. "Okay, I'm finished!" I gave the papers to the King and he stood up.

"I will examine these and come back shortly."

When he left, I got up and walked around the room. In the corner of my eye, I spotted a CD case. When I picked it up, I realized that it belonged to the Harvest King. "Hmm, I wonder what's inside…"

I unzipped it and flipped through the CD's. "Gwen Stefani, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Katy Perry…wow…"

I tossed it to the side and walked around the room some more.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS?" I heard the King's voice boom. It was so loud, the floors vibrated.

Just as I was about to open the door, it slammed open in my face, sending me flying across the room. "Owie…"

The Harvest King stormed in the room with Finn in one hand and Sarah in the other. "Are you aware of what this little sprite has done to Sarah?"

"Wait, what's going on?" I asked, standing up.

"Your sprite has-,"

"It was only a kiss! That's no reason to get mad!" Finn argued.

"You kissed her?" I asked.

"You shut up!"

"Who, me?" I pointed to myself.

The Harvest King looked at me. "N-no, not you, but you can shut up, as well!"

"So you _were_ talking to me!" I figured.

"No, I was not—,"

"But you told me to shut up!"

"That's not the point!" he shouted. "Your sprite kissed Sarah!"

"Your Highness, Finn didn't do anything wrong!" Sarah explained. "We're…we're in love."

**Ooh la la! Finn has a girlfriend? Sorry I took longer to update. I decided that I will update every two days from now on. It's a lot less stress on me, so you'll have to live with it! Anyways, PLEASE review and tell me what you think!**


	13. Unsuspicious Oatmeal

**OKEY DOKEY! I'm back with the next chapter! What will happen to Finn and Sarah? What will Angela think? Oh the suspense is killing me…not really. Anyways, enjoy!**

There was an awkward silence after Sarah's confession. Finn looked like he was about to wet himself and the Harvest King was in shock. "They say that during awkward silences, a gay baby is born," I informed everyone.

"Shut up!" they all said in unison.

"Geez, I'm just trying to lighten up the mood. Everyone is so dramatic here," I muttered, lying down on the couch. I let my legs dangle off one of the arms.

"For your evil actions, you must pay, you good for nothing sprite," Harvest King spat at Finn.

"He has a name, you know," I said, flipping through the Good Housekeeping magazine that was on the coffee table.

"No one cares mortal!" the Harvest King retorted. "Now, as I was saying-,"

"Hey, I'm getting kinda hungry. Can I like, order room service, or something? It doesn't have to be anything large, just a little something to munch on," I interrupted.

The Harvest King sighed. "Can you just be _quiet _for a couple seconds? It's not that much to ask!"

I pretended to zip my lips and throw the zipper away.

"Now, for punishment, you will be sent to the dungeon for all eternity!" he announced.

"I'm sorry to burst your bubble, your Highness, but we don't have a dungeon," Sarah pointed out. "While the castle was under construction, you specifically ordered for there to be no dungeons because they were too tacky."

"Very well, then," he replied in a dark voice. "He will be the new dish washer!" And with that, he laughed an evil laugh.

"NOOOOO! Not dish washing!" Finn cried, trying to wriggle free from the Harvest King's grip.

The Harvest King let Sarah go and walked out of the room with Finn still in his hand. I hummed to myself as I read the magazine. Sarah flew up to me, a panicked look on her face. "We have to help Finn and save him!"

I groaned. "Do I really have to? I mean, I just wasted a good week of my life to summon the Harvest King and _this _is what I get?"

"Look, I don't care about your feelings on this matter. We need to focus on freeing Finn!"

I set my magazine on my lap. "I'm sure that if we wait for the dishes to be finished, the Harvest King will let Finn go."

"No, you don't understand." Sarah flew close to my face. "The Harvest King has a large collection of fine china that he forces dish washing sprites to clean after they finish the regular dishes!"

I snorted. "It can't be that bad."

"He has over a million!"

"OMIGOD!" I shouted. I stood up. "We must save Finn!"

"Great, now follow me. I know where they are!" Sarah flew to the hallway with me running to keep up with her.

About ten seconds later, I began to get tired from running. "Whew, this is getting pretty intense." I wiped sweat off my brow, slowing down to a very, very slow jog.

Sarah turned around to look at me. "How can you run out of energy so easily?"

"Well you know, I've never been a huge fan of working out. I find watching TV all day is much more suited to me." I had to come to a stop to catch my breath. I placed my hands on my knees.

"We still have to find him as quickly as possible!"

I frowned. "Can't we just take a little nap before we go? I mean, I've been running around all day long, so I think it's the least I can get."

"NO! We have to get Finn _now_!" Sarah was very irritated by now.

"Well seeing as you probably can't do anything heroic without me, I think I'll just take a little snooze. After that, we can go get Fairy Boy," I decided as I lay on the floor.

"His name is not Fairy Boy!" I didn't bother arguing seeing as I was already asleep.

**Two and a half hours later…**

"Ah, that was a nice little nappie," I grinned lazily, stretching my arms.

Sarah was currently banging her small head against the wall. When I spoke, she looked up at me. "Finally, you're awake!"

"I was only out for a while."

"Actually, you were sleeping for almost three hours. Do you know what I had to do to keep myself entertained for three hours? I read all four of the Twilight books!" Sarah answered, tugging on her green hair.

"You read fast," I commented. "But the movies just kinda ruined it for me, you know?"

"True, true, but Jacob is quite nice to look at."

I sighed dreamily as I thought of shirtless Jacob. "Yeah, he's the best part."

"Wait, what are we talking about?" Sarah snapped out of the mindless chatter. "We're supposed to be finding Finn!"

"Huh? Oh, right, let's go!"

I followed Sarah all the way to the kitchen. When we got there, Sarah motioned for me to be quiet. "Oh okay!" I smiled. She shushed me even more. "Sorry," I pressed a finger to my lips.

We pushed the door open enough for us to look through. In there was Finn miserably rubbing a china plate with a rag. Tears rolled down his cheek as he did so. The Harvest King sat in a chair behind him, sipping a cup of tea. "Yes!" he laughed. "Clean those plates! CLEAN THEM! Mwahahahaha!" He accidentally spilled his tea on his robe. "Oh dear, that's going to stain if we don't do something soon." He walked off through another door and disappeared.

"Let's go in!" Sarah whispered.

I nodded and opened the door some more. Finn looked up and saw us. "Sarah? Angela?"

"Finn!" Sarah flew into his arms. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not doing too well," he sighed. "Those dishes are taking a toll on me."

"I _still _don't completely get what's so bad about washing dishes," I mused, sitting down on the ground.

"It's good to see you, too," Finn said coldly.

"How are we going to get you out of here?" Sarah asked with large eyes.

"Trust me, if I knew, I wouldn't be here right now."

I rolled my eyes. "Well here's a thought: how about you in a pot when your work is over and we'll come get you in the middle of the night and sneak you out."

Finn and Sarah were silent. "…Oh…I never thought of that," he admitted. "Okay, I'll hide in that copper pot over there," he decided, pointing to a pot on the corner of a shelf.

"What would you ever do without me?" I flashed him a smile.

"I wouldn't even be here in this situation if you weren't here."

I glowered at him. "Watch it, Tiny."

"Okay, we'll have to leave now, Finn. I promise that we'll pick you up at exactly midnight and get you out," Sarah kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I pretended to vomit from my spot on the floor. Finn narrowed his eyes at me. "You don't even have a boyfriend, so you can shut up."

"I wasn't even talking! Besides, you can't tell me what to do!"

He simply stuck his tongue out at me. My hand itched for the flyswatter, but I decide to wait and punish him later when I would enjoy it more. He grinned when I didn't do anything to him. "Well, I'll see you two at midnight."

Sarah and I left before the Harvest King had come back and returned to the room we were in before. I jumped and landed on the couch. "So what do you wanna do until midnight?"

For the rest of the day, Sarah and I watched General Hospital and played checkers. We also pigged out on Domino's Pizza, which I still don't know how she managed to order when we were floating in the sky.

At some point around nine, I had fallen asleep. Sarah woke me up a couple minutes before twelve. "God, you sleep like the dead," she complained as I rubbed my eyes.

"Hey, I live a very tough life. I deserve it."

She snorted. "What do you do, sleep, eat, and watch TV?"

I opened my mouth to argue back, but she was pretty much right. "Yeah…"

"Look, this doesn't matter. We need to just go get Finn right now."

I yawned as I followed behind the little sprite to the kitchen. "Maybe I can grab something to eat while we get Finn," I said, mostly to myself. "I could go for some skittles, or maybe a Lunchable…"

"Is food all you can think about?"

"…No, I think about other things too, like if I recorded the new episode of Cops or not."

Sarah stared at me as we neared the kitchen door. "You actually like that show?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, what's wrong with it?"

She just shook her head. "Oh, nothing."

I opened the door and flipped the light switch on. The room lit up and I headed for the shelf that Finn would be on. Only when I was right in front of it did I realize that the pot Finn was in was gone. "You've got to be kidding me!" I groaned.

"What? Where's Finn? I want to see him!" Sarah demanded.

"He isn't here!" I cried, falling to the ground. "Why, WHY?" I shouted at the ground.

Sarah and I were silent for a few minutes as I was face down on the floor. "What do you think we should do?" she asked, sitting on my head.

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go back to bed."

"Not again!" Sarah whined.

Sadly, it was too late; I was already out cold on the floor.

The next morning, I woke up in the middle of a hallway. I sat up, scratching my leg. "Why am I a hallway?"

"Because I dragged you here," Sarah answered from her spot next to me. She had huge bags under her eyes.

"Wow, that's pretty neat," I poked her cheek when she began to doze off. "Wait, did you stay up all night?"

"Yep, someone had to make sure that no one ran into us."

Just as she said that, the Harvest King walked up to us. "Good morning, mortal. I hope you slept well?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied, standing up.

"How would you like some breakfast?" he offered.

"Food sounds good right now!" I smiled, following him to a large dining room. Sarah hid inside the hood on my jacket, poking her head out every once in a while to look around for Finn.

A bunch of sprites placed bowls of oatmeal in front of us, letting us choose. "Hmm, which one has the most in it?" I murmured to myself.

"Angela, over there!" Sarah hissed in my ear. I followed her short arm and saw a little fairy wing sticking out of one bowl of oatmeal.

"AHH! That one's mine!" I shouted, smacking some random guy's hand away as he tried to get it.

I snatched it up and looked up at everyone who was staring at me silently. "What? Do you have a problem?" I challenged them. "Don't look at me funny just because I really like this particular bowl of oatmeal for no suspicious reason whatsoever!"

"Shut up before you blow our cover!" Sarah whispered.

"Heh, heh, just completely ignore whatever I just said!" I told everyone. They still stared at me. "Well then, uh, I have to use the bathroom…so I'll be right back!"

I sprinted out of the room, holding the bowl of oatmeal high over my head. After I rounded a corner, I stopped and leaned against the wall. "I don't think anyone is coming after us," Sarah stated.

I sighed. "Good." Then, I poured all of the oatmeal out of the bowl. It splattered all over the floor.

"Do you see him anywhere?" I asked, nudging the oatmeal around with my foot.

"Uh…over there to the right, the big lumpy part!" Sarah answered.

I lifted it up, realizing that it really was Finn. "Hey Finny, how are you doing?" I asked as I wiped the oatmeal chunks off of him.

"Nngh…" was all he said in return. He was completely still, except for spitting out a couple of flakes from his mouth.

"Oh Finn, I'm so glad you're okay!" Sarah smiled at him gently.

He was able to muster a small smile for her.

"Do I get a smile?" I asked hopefully.

Finn just glared at me. I crossed my arms. "Geez, nice fairy," I said in a sarcastic tone.

When Finn was mostly cleaned up, I put him in my hood as well. Sarah gave me directions on how to leave the castle. "If you go over to that closet over there, you'll find a parachute pack so you can jump safely off of the castle," she explained.

I followed her directions and found one. "Whoa, this is awesome!" I squealed. "I'll be able to be like one of those cool super spies in the movies!"

As I strapped it up, a question popped into my head. "Hey Sarah, will you be able to come with us?"

Sarah hesitated before she spoke. "Probably not. I still have two more years of working here before I'm free."

"Why? Are you like, imprisoned?" I asked, a little confused.

"Think of it more like college, except no partying."

"College without partying? That seems impossible!" I fretted. "I know that I wouldn't survive college without my parties."

"Anyways, you should leave now," she suggested.

"Alright, but you need to come see us when your time here is up. You're pretty cool."

Sarah and Finn said their goodbyes and then we were off. Before I jumped, I pretended that I was shooting a bunch of bad guys. Much to Finn's disgust, I had to tuck him inside my shirt so he wouldn't fall out.

As we got closer to the ground I pulled the string to open my parachute. Much to my luck, the parachute wouldn't open. "Oh god!" I rolled my eyes. "Why does this always happen to me?"

**Well here it is! I hope I'm not too late in posting this! It took me a little while to get these ideas. Also, my mom had to help me out with it a bit…actually a lot. She is pretty much my beta reader. Every chapter goes through her before any of you read it. ANYWAYS, I really want you to review and tell me what you all think!**


	14. The Devil Has Pink Pigtails

**Okay here is just a little warning: I might not update as fast for the next few days since I am in to Atlanta to see The Phantom of the Opera WHOOO! I will try to update as much as possible, seeing as this story is one of my babies (next to my iPod). Now, onto the story.**

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Finn shouted up to me. The wind was making it even harder to hear him.

"Well you see," I tried to act like it wasn't that big of a deal. "Our parachute isn't cooperating with us."

Finn looked as if he had been expecting this. "Of course this would happen to us," he said in a monotone voice.

"You don't have to worry about dying, though! I mean, you survived being cooked with a bunch of oatmeal, so you should be pretty calm."

He took a deep breath before speaking. "Let's just try to focus on a decent landing."

I smiled. "TOO LATE!" I warned him as we landed on top of the little girl I love to punt. Finn was smashed in between us. "Ah, that was the perfect cushion," I sighed, hopping up, making sure to nonchalantly step on her head.

She stood up shortly after, looking at me. "You know," she started, wrapping her arms around my waist. "I was just wishing that I would have a pony, but I guess you'll do!"

I rolled my eyes and punted her into the Fugue Forest. I wiped my hands off and headed for Harmonica Town.

"So, what should we do?" I asked, pulling Finn out of my shirt and tucking him into my pocket.

"You really expect me to want to do stuff right after everything we just went through?" he asked in disbelief.

"Well…yeah."

"Angela, all I really want is to go to bed right now, is that too much to ask?" he whined.

I debated over what I should do while stroking my imaginary beard. One part of me really wanted to go to the bar and talk to Kathy, but another part of me wanted to go home and watch Dog the Bounty Hunter. _Ugh, too hard to decide!_

"Hmmm, I guess I could go home and relax for the rest of the day."

Finn smiled. "Thank god!"

"But I don't feel like it, so I'll go to the bar instead!" I skipped off to the Brass Bar. Finn didn't even bother arguing with me since he knew that I wouldn't change my answer.

I burst into the bar. "I'll have the usual!" I declared, standing in the doorway with my hands on my hips.

"What do you take me for, a barmaid?" a snobby voice replied.

I opened an eye to see an incredibly cute girl with big curly pink pigtails. She was dressed freakishly well, with a ruffled yellow dress and a pink bow tied around her waist. She even went as far as to have pretty white flowers in her hair. _So adorable…_

"Well, aren't you going to answer me?" she snapped.

I realized that I was gaping at her like a total idiot. "You shouldn't be impolite to adults, young lady," I scolded her. "And you're too young to be in a bar, either."

The girl looked irritated. "I am not a little girl! I'm twenty-two, definitely old enough to be in a bar," she insisted, stomping her foot. "Is this because I'm short?"

"Geez, you don't have to be so rude. Be lucky I'm not punting you right now."

"What?" She looked really confused.

I rolled my eyes. "It's nothing. What's your name?"

"I'm Luna."

"I'm Angela."

Luna snickered. "What kind of name is Angela?"

I glared at her. "What's wrong with my name?"

"It's a tacky name, totally awful!" she giggled.

"It's not like Luna is any better!" My hands turned into fists at my sides.

"The name Luna is way classier, like me. Well, I guess ugly names work for ugly people," she sneered.

My eye twitched. Finn rolled his eyes. "Oh here we go, again," he sighed.

"WHY YOU LITTLE-," I was cut off by Kathy.

"Whoa break it up, you two!" She stepped in between us. "Luna honey, you don't want to get into a fight with Angela," she warned. "If you do, you'll get shredded into bits."

"Thank you!" I smiled, loosing my anger.

"And who said that was a compliment?" Kathy retorted, whipping around to face me. "You need to learn how to control your temper before you get into trouble!"

"She started it," I muttered, giving Luna the death glare over Kathy's shoulder.

"I don't care who started it!" Kathy yelled, exasperated. "Angela if you keep this up, I'll temporarily ban you from the bar!"

I silently fell on my knees, giving Kathy my best puppy dog eyes. "Please don't ban me," I begged in a whisper. "I promise I'll be nice."

Kathy stared at me for a while longer. "Fine, but you have to make up with Luna," she decided.

I frowned. "Do I have to? I mean, I'm not to good at forgiving-,"

"Do it or you're banned!" she threatened.

With everything I had, I walked up to Luna and apologized. "I'm sorry about what I said," I managed through my teeth and then turned around to Kathy. "There, how was that?"

Kathy patted my shoulder. "Very nice. I'm proud that you did it without murdering her."

"I do try best," I bragged.

"Well I'm going to leave, now," Luna announced. "Bye, Kathy."

"See ya, Luna!" Kathy waved to her.

On her way out, Luna purposely bumped into me. I was about to tackle the little witch when Kathy held me back. When she left, Kathy let me go. "I was in the back room for five minutes and you managed to make an enemy!" she laughed. "Let me get you something to drink."

"Yay!" I hopped onto a barstool and rested my head in my hands.

"I'm really sorry about Luna," Kathy apologized. "I know she can be a little rude, but-,"

"A little rude? That girl was the spawn of the devil!"

"Let me finish! After a while of getting to know her, she becomes really sweet."

I snorted in disbelief as Kathy gave me my drink. "Like I'll ever believe that."

Kathy gave up on trying to make Luna sound like she's nice—which she's NOT.

A little while later, I left the bar feeling refreshed. I walked down Harmonica Town, looking up at the clouds. _Oh, a cloud shaped like a ducky!_

Suddenly, I ran into someone. I landed on the ground. "Ouch…" I groaned.

"Yeah, ouch," Finn said in a muffled voice. He was stuck in between me and the brick road.

"Watch where you're going!" a familiar voice complained.

I lifted my head up and saw none other than Luna. Scattered around her on the ground was a bunch of sewing crap. "An 'excuse me' would be nice," I shot back.

Luna fixed her hair as we stood up, and then she started to pick up the stuff she dropped. "I don't see you trying to be polite. The least you could do is help me pick up my yarn."

"Oh, you mean this stuff?' I asked, smacking it all out of her hands.

She gasped and then stared at me for some time with her big eyes. Then, she slapped me as hard as she could. At first, all I could do was stare at Luna with my mouth open and my eye twitching. As soon as I could move, I whipped out my flyswatter and continuously hit her with it as hard as I could.

"Oh, is that the best you can do? A bedazzled flyswatter? Why is it bedazzled anyways, that's so lame!" she taunted with an evil smirk before giving me a roundhouse kick to the face.

I quickly recovered form the blow, straightening up again. "I'm sorry, bedazzled flyswatters must not be your thing, so say hello to my bedazzled garden shovel!" I pulled my shovel out and drove it into the top of her pretty pink head.

She yanked me down to the ground with her where we had the nastiest cat fight in history. Actually it was so violent, that it should've been called a dog fight.

"Your grandma smells like pickles!" I shouted, tugging on her pigtails.

Luna dug her long nails into my arms. "That's a lame insult!"

Eventually, people began to notice and tore us apart. "Just calm down!" Hayden ordered, ripping me off of Luna.

We glared at each other before I stormed off to my house. Finn just sighed. "I knew we should've stayed home today."

I grumbled, throwing Finn at the wall. "I don't need you telling me that…"

**Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than the rest, and later. I was in Atlanta when I wrote this, so I didn't have any stupid internet connection. Please review and tell me what you would like to see happen in the story. I'm open to just about anything!**


	15. The New Goddess

**Hello again, my lovelies! I'm so happy that I'm almost at 20 reviews, only 2 away from it, eep! Ahem, anyways, this chapter is basically all about Luna and Angela trying to get back at each other by doing some very interesting things. Why, you may ask, did I just give a summary to this chapter? I have no clue. Just enjoy the stupidness…if that's even a word… **

"Do I have to go to the tailor shop?" I whined, slouching on the barstool. "Luna works there!"

Kathy was giving me my daily booze. "Yes you do. You've been wearing the same outfit since you've came here! That's so gross!"

My eyes narrowed. "Why do I have to wear different things when everyone here wears the SAME EXACT THING every freakin' day?"

"It's not the same thing everyday!" Kathy argued. "We just have multiples of the same outfit."

I was about to ask what was up with that, but she cut me off. "Don't ask why. Trust me, you don't want to know."

The eerie tone she said that in creeped me out. She patted my shoulder. "If it will make you feel better, I'll go with you to the tailor."

"Ugh okay, but only if you come with me…" I hung my head in defeat, letting myself be dragged by Kathy to the tailor shop of terror.

When she opened the door to the shop, it made a little bell ring. Candace, Luna's blue-haired older sister, looked up at us. "Oh, h-hello…welcome…"

She was incredibly shy, so shy it made me want to pull her long braids out of her head. I mean, is it even humanly possible to be any shyer than her? I don't think so. But still, I liked her better than Luna.

"Hey Candace!" Kathy replied cheerfully. "I want to get her some new clothes." She lifted me up by my shirt collar to show her what she meant.

Candace nodded, her eyes trained on the floor. "I'll have Luna measure her and fit her for the clothes…"

My head shot up. "What? Why can't you do it?"

Luna walked out from the back room and gave me a sweet smile, so sweet that it was sickening. "I'll be happy to give her a fitting."

"Go on," Kathy pushed me towards Luna. "And be nice, you two," she warned us, walking over to Candace to talk.

Luna led me into a bedroom. "Why is there a bedroom in the shop?" I couldn't help but ask. It was just so random.

"We live here, too."

"Oh…" We both fell silent as she pulled out a measuring tape and a bunch of needles.

At first, Luna had measured me in pretty much every place imaginable. Then, she put a very loose fitting shirt on me and began to use the needles to tighten it in places. Suddenly, the first needle stabbed me right in my side. "OUCH! Watch where you're putting those things!" I complained.

"Oops, sorry," she apologized in a monotone voice.

The needle stabbings became more and more frequent throughout the fitting. Luna would just apologize and then stab me again a minute later. I was so close to smacking the brat, but I stayed calm. I probably had ten billion needle pricks in me by the end.

"Okay, all done!" Luna hopped up and smiled at me again.

As I walked out of the bedroom, I tried to look menacing by glaring at her over my shoulder, but I ran into a wall. When I got up, I stormed out of the store, leaving Kathy behind.

"Ugh, I hate Luna! She's so annoying!" I muttered under my breath.

Finn was at my house, so I didn't have anyone to talk to at the moment but myself.

"Angela, wait up!" Kathy jogged to catch up with me. "What's got your panties in a bunch? You just walked right out of there!"

"Luna kept stabbing me with needles!"

"I'm sure it was just on accident," Kathy assured me."

I lifted my shirt up to show her a bunch of tiny red dots all over my stomach. "Does _this _look like an accident to you?"

Kathy gasped. "That looks painful."

"Uh, yeah!"

Kathy was silent for a few moments. "Well Candace said that the clothes will be ready tomorrow!"

I rolled my eyes. Kathy was so blonde. "Whatever, I'll see you later. I'm going to the Goddess Pond for a while."

"'Kay, see ya!"

As I walked to the Goddess Pond, I tried to think of ways to get back at Luna. "I could always beat her up if I can't think of anything else, but I want to be original," I said aloud.

"Why hellooooo, my darling Angela!" I heard a somewhat familiar voice call to me when I reached the pond.

I looked around. "Who's that?"

"It's me, the Harvest Goddess!" she replied, appearing in front of me. She no longer looked scary, but really pretty. Her pale green hair was in a high ponytail which separated into two long braids and there were no more dark circles sunder her eyes. There was a faint blush across her cheeks and her skin was a healthy color.

I blinked a couple of times. "Whoa, is that really you?"

She laughed. "Why of course it is! Why would you think it's not?"

"Well, you look…pretty."

"I suppose I did look quite ghastly before you summoned the Harvest King!"

I was confused. "So how did you change so much?"

"Oh, I just popped four or five Percocet and I felt great!" she explained with a wave of hand.

"I see."

The Harvest Goddess put an arm around me. "So what can I help you with, darling?"

I told her about my issues with Luna and that I wanted to get back at her, but I didn't know how to.

"Here, take this." The Goddess placed a small pill in my hand. "Put it in her drink. Just a little bit of this stuff and make a person do crazy things."

A grin slowly stretched across my face. "Oh really?"

I ran back to my house with the pill in my pocket. Finn was startled when I slammed the door open. "Why are you back so early?"

"I have to get Luna back," was all I said as I looked up the tailor's phone number in the Yellow Pages.

"I know that look you have on your face, Angela," Finn said suspiciously. "What are you planning on?"

"Sshh!" I smacked Finn with my flyswatter when I heard the ringing on the other line.

"Sonata Tailoring, how can I help you?" Luna asked when she picked up the phone.

"Hey girl!" I said in my best Kathy voice. "What's up?"

"Oh, hi Kathy. I'm bored to death right now, and I can't wait to get off work."

I let out a small sigh, glad that Luna thought I was Kathy. "Well how about you come by the bar for a couple drinks once you're off? It'll do you good."

Luna was hesitant. "I don't know if I should, I mean, I should stay home and help out Grandma…"

"Oh come on, honey! You need to relax and have some fun!"

"…Fine, I'll be there a little after five," she decided with a huff.

"Alright, I'll see ya then!" I hung up the phone. "Thank god no one in this town has caller I.D."

Before five o'clock, I was sitting at my usual bar stool, sipping on a drink. Every few minutes, I would check the clock hanging on the wall. Finn sat on the counter in front of me, eager to see what would happen to Luna.

Suddenly, the door to the bar opened. "Oh hey Luna!" Kathy waved at her friend.

"Hi." She sat down next to me, acting as if I didn't even exist. Kathy had whipped up a drink and slid it in front of her.

Luna thanked her, but didn't drink it yet. She was too busy glaring at Selena, the auburn haired belly dancer who had just started working at the bar. She really was a good dancer, but she didn't talk to many people. "She's so trashy," she said just loud enough for me and Kathy to hear.

"No she is not!" Kathy defended the new dancer. They had a small argument as they both watched Selena. I used this opportunity to pull apart the capsule and pour the powder into Luna's drink. _Now all I need is for her to drink it._

Finn raised his eyebrows. "This ought to be interesting."

"She's just a classy stripper! I mean, look at how revealing her clothes are!" Luna argued back, finally taking a large gulp of her drink. _Bingo_.

About ten minutes later, the drugs started to kick in. Her face was flushed a bright red and she was spacing out.

Kathy was rambling on about something when she noticed that something was off about her friend. "Luna, are you alright? You're not talking as much."

"What? I'm fine," she answered, her eye twitching.

"Um maybe you should go to the bathroom, and maybe splash cold water on your face. You don't look too hot," Kathy suggested in a concerned tone.

"Okay…" she fell off the stool like a tree before standing back up and walking to the ladies' room. I hid my triumphant grin by taking another sip of my drink.

A few minutes later, Luna stumbled out of the bathroom. She had toilet paper wrapped around her head and a long trail of toilet paper behind her and her bra was on the outside of her dress. "I'm back!" she declared, thrusting her arms into the air, accidentally smacking Selena.

Finn and I cracked up. Kathy ran over to Luna and unwrapped the toilet paper off of her head. "Oh now I can see!" she cheered, her blue eyes freakishly wide. "Thank you my good woman!"

"Quick Angela, get the video camera out!" Finn ordered.

I whipped it out and pressed the record button.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" Kathy asked.

Luna was smiling from ear to ear. "Yeah, I've never been bett—oh look a birdie!" She ran to the window to see the bird and slammed into it, falling to the ground.

Finn was on the ground laughing. "Did you get that?"

I nodded, since I wasn't able to breathe from laughing too hard.

Luna hopped back up. "I'm okay!"

Everyone in the bar looked highly confused as to what was wrong with Luna. She giggled, running out of the bar.

**Oh my, what will happen to Luna? Will she be alright, or will things get a little too out of hand? Stick around and see what happens in the next chapter! Don't forget to review PLEASE! I'll give you a cookie!**


	16. Murderous Brides and Blueberry Muffins

**Thank you so much for the reviews so far! To everyone who reviews, you get cookies! Yay! *Hands out chibi Harvest Moon cookies to all.* Right now, I'm listening to Through the Fire and Flames in hopes that it'll wake me up. Yeah I almost had to force myself to do this chapter. Anyways, read on to see what happens to our dearest Luna!**

"Hurry up!" Finn demanded from his spot on my shoulder. "I wanna see Luna act stupid!"

"I'm running as fast as I can!" I shouted breathlessly, running after Luna.

She was completely insane. No one was able to catch her, either. By now, she had done cartwheels all around Simon's Photography store and jacked a wedding dress from her shop and was wearing it, running all over the place. She reminded me of a chicken with its head cut off.

We followed close behind her as she burst into the Town Hall. Gill, the mayor's son, looked startled as she bounced up to him.

"Err hello, Luna. What can I do for you today?" he asked, taking a few steps back when she started to do the Thriller dance.

Elli, the weather women/town hall secretary, walked in, jumping at the sight of Luna. "Oh dear! Is she alright?" she asked, pushing a strand of short brown hair behind her ear.

I snorted as I held the video camera. "Does she _look _alright to you?"

"Well…no."

Suddenly, Luna turned to Gill, grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him onto the counter. "Why won't you love me?" she shouted, tears randomly spilling out of her eyes and onto Gills face

Gill looked seriously freaked out. He wiped the tears off his face with a handkerchief. "You're kidding me, right?" he stuttered.

"NO! I never kid with my true love—oh a chicken!" she gasped, somersaulting over to a chair with a stuffed chicken on it while humming the Mission Impossible theme.

Luna snatched it off the chair and nuzzled it.

"Does she honestly have the nerve to do something like that to _me_?" Gill said in disbelief. "Who does she think she is?"

"I don't think she even knows that much," I replied, making the camera zoom in on Luna. "Man, this will make great blackmail material," I murmured to myself.

"That's a rude thing to say!" Gill scolded me with his hands on his hips.

I shrugged. "What can I say? I thrive in other peoples' misery."

Gill rolled his eyes and walked over to a high Luna. "Are you okay?"

Luna looked up to him and immediately latched onto his leg. "Gilly Willy! I love you sooo much, I could just eat you up!" And with that, she began gnawing on his leg.

"OMIGOD someone help me!" he screamed, trying to pry Luna off his leg.

"Ooh, this is good stuff!" I chuckled, getting closer to them.

Elli ran over to help Gill. She turned to me. "Aren't you going to help?"

"Pssh, no. Not when something as hilarious as is this happening."

Eventually, Elli pried Luna off, but accidentally sent her flying. Luna land freakishly close to a random fireplace and then, her wedding dress went up into flames.

Soon the wedding dress had completely disintegrated and there stood a charred, naked Luna, who was staring off into space. There was a bit of drool dribbling down her chin.

"Uhhh…this is awkward," Finn stated, although only I could hear him.

Luna looked out the open door. "Oh, a puppy!" She ran out of the Town Hall, her arms flapping wildly.

I followed her as she harassed the poor little dog, who was probably scarred for life after what Luna did to him. In the middle of traumatizing the dog, her head snapped up. "My spidey senses are tingling!"

She took off in another direction. After a good ten minutes of jogging, we were at the church. Luna was busy climbing up the side of it.

"What is she planning on doing?" Finn asked.

"Beats me. I'm just here to record this."

Once Luna reached the roof she held her arms out to her side.

"What are you doing?' I asked her.

She looked at me with a straight face. "I am going to fly."

The rest is pretty much self explanatory. She attempted to fly, but failed miserably and belly flopped into a huge puddle of mud. "I guess I should've seen that one coming," Finn said.

I headed over to a mud covered Luna who was now flailing in the mud. "AHHH! Someone help me! I can't swim!"

Finn looked at me. "Should we help her?"

"I guess. I mean, it would be pretty bad if she like, died from suffocating or something."

I headed over to her and dragged her out by a pigtail. "There you go."

Luna didn't even reply, she just walked away from me. I didn't bother asking her anything, I just followed

"I wonder how long her high will last?" Finn said.

"Does it matter? We have enough footage of her to last us a lifetime!"

We ended up following her to her house, which was empty except for us three. I let Luna spin around the shop with a bucket on her head for a ten minutes while I helped myself to the muffins in her kitchen.

I took a big bite out of one of them, chewing thoughtfully before realizing something. "Those muffins are blueberry," I muttered.

Luna ran into yet another wall, but continued twirling around. "What's wrong with blueberry muffins?" Finn asked.

"I don't like blueberry!"

"Then eat something else!"

"…You're right!" I skipped off to the fridge and pigged out to my heart's content.

When I had licked all of the sauce from the chicken wings off of my fingers, I checked on Luna to see how she was doing. She was still naked, covered in mud, and spinning around with a bucket on her head, but I somehow knew that she would be.

"Hey Angela, look over there!" Finn pointed to a large bag of feathers lying on the ground.

I took one look at it and automatically knew what he was thinking. "Wow, you're so old school, Finn."

He shrugged. "It might be fun."

I thought about it for a moment. "Sure why not?"

I ripped open the bag of feathers. "Hey Luna! Come over here for a sec!"

She pulled the bucket off her head. "Don't be miserable, little star!" she replied, walking over to me.

Finn choked on his own spit and laughed while my brow furrowed. "Okay, I'm going to ignore that comment. Just stand right here and don't move."

Luna was too busy singing Dancing Queen to notice that I was dumping the feathers on her. To my luck, they stuck to her perfectly. When I finished, I stepped back to admire my work. She looked like a deformed chicken with pink pigtails. "Ah, it's perfect!"

I picked up my video camera and turned it on again. "Is there anything you'd like to say to the camera, Luna?"

Luna just stood there picking her nose.

"Uh, that works too…I guess," I said. I didn't care what she did, as long as it was on tape. "This is gonna be awesome," I told Finn.

"What's going to be awesome?" a voice asked.

I turned around and saw Luna's grandma with grocery bags in her hands. _I didn't even know we had a grocery store here…_

"Oh hi granny!" I smiled at her nervously. "What's up?"

She looked over my shoulder at Luna. "Oh my Goddess, what happened to my granddaughter?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Heh heh, funny story, actually…See ya!" I trampled over the little old lady and sprinted out the door.

I slowed down to a walk when I left the downtown area to my house. "Whew, that was close!" I stated, out of breath.

"You really need to start working out," Finn complained. "You are possibly the most out of shape person I've met."

I scoffed. "That is not true!"

"I bet you can't even do one pushup!"

I tried to think of something to argue back with, but I really had nothing. "…Nah, I really can't do a pushup…"

Finn smirked, finally winning an argument.

The next day, I was walking past the tailor shop when I noticed Gill standing at it's door with a bouquet of flowers. Right when I was about to ask him what he was doing, my question was answered when Luna stepped out of the shop to talk to him.

She looked like absolute crap. There were still smudges of mud on her, feathers in her hair, and super baggy eyes. "What do you want?" she asked in a snippy voice, rubbing her eyes.

Gill cleared his throat. "Luna, I have come here today to declare my passionate and undying love for you." Finn and I could barely contain our laughs where Luna just stared wide eyed at him. He kept going. "Last night, you showed me the beast, the animal that lay deep within you. When you chewed on my leg, I was going crazy for you, I felt like I was about to explode. Even when you had that murderous look in your twitchy eyes, I thought you were so beautiful. That touched something inside of me, and I can't seem to get you off my mind. So what do you say, will you be my girlfriend?"

Luna was speechless for a minute. Then she spoke up. "What the heck is wrong with you? I don't even know what you're talking about! Are you freaking high or something?" And with that, she slammed the door in Gill's face.

Ah, good times.

**OMIGOD I'm sorry it took me like, a week to update. I have been so busy, it's unbelievable! Anyways, I want to thank you all again for all the support through this story. You guys are the reason I'm actually keeping up with this story so much. I'm not kidding when I say that. Please keep reviewing and give me any of your ideas. I love hearing them!**


	17. Peanuts, Peanuts, Everywhere!

**Alright, I got the idea for this chapter from one of my reviewers, Ezential Char, who I must thank a lot! THANK YOU! I've been curious to see how it would turn out, so here it is!**

It had been a couple of days since I had drugged Luna and I was bored out of my mind.

"I wanna do something," I complained to Finn, who was eating a potato chip.

"What do you want to do, then?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. I guess I could take a nap."

"Seriously? All you've done today is sleep!"

I ignored him, pulling the covers over my head and quickly falling back to sleep.

A couple hours later, someone had gently shaken me awake. I smacked the hand away, just assuming that it was Finn. "Quit it before I pull out the flyswatter," I groaned, shoving my head into my pillow.

"Uh, that's interesting," a voice commented softly.

I opened my eyes and squeaked. "Why are you here, Wizard? Have you ever heard of ringing the stupid door bell?"

"Your door was unlocked," he replied simply.

I pulled the covers over myself, hiding my tank top and boxers. "Why are you here?" I repeated.

Wizard walked around my house. "Well if you remember at all, you still owe a favor of some sort from making me collect my ingredients on my own."

It took me a while to remember, but I eventually realized what he was talking about. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that!"

"Yes and I would appreciate it if you would babysit for me for a while."

There was a long silence after that. I mainly just stared at him. Eventually, I spoke up. "You want me, of all people to babysit for you?"

"Oh god," Finn grumbled.

He nodded.

"I suck with kids!" I argued. "The last time I helped my sister babysit her kids, the little brats tied me up to a chair and drew all over my face with Sharpies! Sharpies, of all marker brands! They don't wash off as easily as you think!" I ranted, my face turning red.

"…If it makes you feel any better, it's a baby." Wizard picked up a small blue-haired baby off of my floor.

"A BABY! That's even worse!" I shrieked, tugging on my short hair.

"Actually, it's Simon, from the photography shop. I kind of messed up a spell, and he just happened to be in my way, so I need you to watch him until I can find the right spell to change him back," he explained.

I leaned forward and looked at baby Simon. Even when he was little, he still looked like a tired man, which was freaky. "Do I really have to do this?" I whined.

"Yes." He shoved the baby into my arms and walked out my door at an alarmingly quick rate.

"HEY YOU COME BACK HERE!" I screamed at him.

"Angela, don't be so loud, you'll make the baby cry!" Finn scolded me.

It was already too late. Baby Simon was wailing. I held him out far away from me. "What do I do with him?" I yelled over the screaming baby.

"Uh, try singing to him! That should calm him down!"

There was only one song that I could think of at the moment, so I just winged it.

"_I like big butts and I can not lie  
You other brothers can't deny  
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist  
And a round thing in your face  
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough  
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed  
Deep in the jeans she's wearing  
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring  
Oh baby, I wanna get with you  
And take your picture  
My homeboys tried to warn me  
But that butt you got makes me so horny  
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin  
You say you wanna get in my Benz?  
Well, use me, use me  
'Cause you ain't that average groupie  
I've seen them dancin'  
To hell with romancin'  
She's sweat, wet,  
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette  
I'm tired of magazines  
Sayin' flat butts are the thing  
Take the average black man and ask him that  
She gotta pack much back  
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)  
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)  
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)  
Shake that healthy butt!  
Baby got back!"_

I finished the song, smiling when Simon quit crying. There was a peaceful look on his face.

Finn just gaped at me. "What kind of song was that?"

"My mom used to sing it to me all the time when I was little," I explained.

Finn shivered. "I can only imagine what kind of mother raised you."

"Hey, it works and that's all that's all that I care about," I said in my defense.

I looked down at Simon, who was almost asleep. "You know, he is kinda cute." Finn flew over to look at him. "Yeah, I guess so."

We fell silent for a moment. "Well let's go to the bar, shall we?" I asked, heading over to my wardrobe to get some clothes.

"Wait, are you just leaving the baby here?"

I scoffed. "No, why would I do that? I'm not _that _mean!"

When I finished changing, I hoisted Simon off my bed and all three of us went to the bar.

Everyone was eyeing me as I took a seat at my barstool. Kathy was the first person to say anything. "Angela, why do you have a baby with you in a bar?" she asked warily.

I sighed. "I'm babysitting for somebody and I can't just leave him at home, so I brought him here."

Kathy rolled her eyes. "You don't bring babies into bars. That's just not right!"

I groaned. "But I just got here! I don't want to leave!"

"Just go back home and take care of the kid. He should be your first priority right now!" Kathy insisted, practically shoving me out of the bar.

When I got back home, I set Simon down on my bed and collapsed onto my couch. "What am I gonna do if I can't go anywhere fun?" I whined.

Just then, the phone rang. I looked up at it. No one ever called my house. I answered it anyways. "What do you want?" I sighed into the phone.

"Oh hey, Angela," Wizard said in his calm, smooth voice.

"Wizard, why are you calling?"

"Oh, I just realized a few minutes ago that there's something I forgot to tell you earlier."

I doodled violent pictures on the pad of paper next to the phone. "Sure what is it?"

"Um, the spell that I put on Simon has some weird side effects, so I thought you should know before anything bad happened-,"

"OW! What the heck was that?" Something had hit me on the back of my head. I turned around. "Finn, was that you?" I glared at him threateningly, reaching for my flyswatter.

Finn poked his head out of the bag of potato chips he was eating. "What are you talking about?"

I rolled my eyes and put the phone back up to my ear. "Technical difficulties," I simply explained to Wizard.

"Ah anyways, some of the side effects include-,"

"OW! There it was again, and I know it was you, Finn!" I shouted at him, smashing him with my fist.

"I don't even know what you're talking about, Angela!" Finn shrieked. "I haven't done anything to you since we've been home!"

"Oh, cut the crap!" I growled, pinning him to the kitchen counter with a finger. Then, something hit me again. And it wasn't coming from Finn.

_Wait a minute, _I considered that the baby might be the cause of everything. I turned around only to be hit in the eye. With my good eye, I looked and saw that peanuts were hitting me.

"What the…" I watched Simon as he shot peanuts out of his nose like a machine gun, pelting my stomach.

I grabbed a nearby book lying on the floor and used it as a shield from the peanuts as I sprinted across the room to reach the phone again. "Wizard, do those side effects include shooting peanuts out of his nose?"

Wizard was silent for a second. "I don't recall that being one of them, but I suppose it's a possibility."

"Well it is possible, so how do I make him stop?" I asked.

"To be honest, I really don't know. I assume that eventually the peanuts will just stop coming."

I gritted my teeth. "You expect me to _wait_?" I hissed into the phone. He was going to get a mouthful from me. Or a fistful, if I knew where the heck he lived.

"Oh look at the time!" he laughed nervously. "I have to go and, uh…tend to my spice garden, so bye!" He hung up quickly, leaving me seething.

I slammed the phone back on the receiver. I sacrificed my book/shield to crawl under my dinner table. Finn was sitting on my shoulder. "How are we going to stop the peanuts?" he asked, panicking.

I scanned my house for anything that could help. Finally, an idea and formed in my head. "Finn, I'm really sorry."

He looked up at me. "Sorry for wha—AH!"

I had grabbed him and ran over to Simon. I stuffed Finn's head up the left nostril, the one shooting all the peanuts. Finn gasped. "Ewww…" he whispered.

I could tell that he would be traumatized for quite some time after this. "Hey, I said sorry already," I said, picking up Simon and setting him on the couch where we watched Deadliest Catch.

For the whole time we watched TV, Finn was trembling and let out the occasional whimper. To shut him up, I would feed him Cheese-Its. That usually did the trick. After a good thirty minutes of watching a bunch of guys crab fishing, I turned the TV off and stretched. "Well, looks like its nap time for me!"

"N-no don't leave me all alone!" Finn complained.

"What are you talking about, you have Simon there to keep you company," I yawned, collapsing onto my bed. Before Finn could say anything else, I was already fast asleep.

The next time I woke up, it was about 4:30 in the afternoon and definitely time to eat something. When I tried to get out of bed, I tripped and landed into a giant pile of peanuts. I looked around. "What the-,"

My whole house was flooded with peanuts. They were freaking _everywhere_. I sat up, spitting a couple of peanuts that managed to get into my mouth. "Hey Finn?" I was kind of afraid to know where he might be.

"Yeah?" he eventually replied.

"Why are there peanuts everywhere?"

"…They kind of exploded out of the kid's nose while you were sleeping."

I finally managed to stand up. "Well is the kid alright?" The Wizard would kill me if Simon exploded.

"He slept like a rock through the whole thing, the little booger…" Finn grumbled, flying over to me. We stared at the vast ocean of peanuts at my feet. "So," Finn started. "What are we going to do now?"

"Hmmm," I stroked my imaginary beard, hoping for an idea. Then, it hit me. "Wait, I have plan," I smirked.

A couple hours later, Finn and I were in town with a little stand. "Peanuts! Come get your peanuts for ten bucks!" I shouted to all the people passing by. All of the peanuts were put into cardboard boxes and Simon was sitting on my lap.

Apparently, my mini peanut business was quite popular with the townspeople, even though everything was seriously overpriced. I'm pretty sure it was because there wasn't a single grocery store on the stupid island, but I like to think that they just really like peanuts.

Kathy had come from the bar to see what all the commotion was. "Angela, since when did you start selling peanuts?" she asked suspiciously.

"Uh, about an hour ago, maybe? I dunno." I was to busy counting my money.

"Exactly where did you get the peanuts from?"

I paused my money counting. "Would you believe me if I said it was a gift?"

"No, Angela."

"How about if I found them while mining?"

"No."

"If they washed up on shore?"

Kathy eyed me for a moment. "You know what? I don't think I want to know how you got them."

I nodded. "That's a wise choice."

Kathy still stood in front of the stand and the line of people behind her were getting impatient. "Hey, either buy some peanuts or go away. Time is money," I told her.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll take a cup of peanuts."

I gave her the peanuts and she gave me some cash. "Nice doing business with ya!" I called after her as she walked back to the bar.

**Alright, I'm so freaking sorry for not writing for a while, guys. School has really been taking up all of my time and I had pretty much made myself sick of writing near the end of summer. I just needed a break from it, but I've been getting reviews even when this story was on HIATUS so thank you all so much for supporting me! I promise to try to get some more chapters out on weekends!**


	18. Harassing Farmers and Slurping Slushies

**Okay, I've had this idea for a LONG time and I'm so excited that I can finally do it! I hope you guys enjoy it just as much as I do. This chapter is thanks to my mom and best friend (you know who you are) for giving me the inspiration to do it, so thank you, too! Now, on with the story!**

It had been a little over a week after my amazing peanut business, which had made me rich. Unfortunately, I kind of wasted it all already.

"I still don't get how you wasted 90,000 G in a week!" Hayden scolded me as he refilled my drink. I stuck a straw in there so Finn could have some, too.

I shrugged. "Me neither. It was like, there one day, and then POOF it was gone."

Kathy was sitting on the barstool next to me. She was fixing her hair into her usual ponytail. "Let me guess, you spent it all on beer, didn't you?"

"No I didn't!" I argued, holding my six pack of Bud Light close to me. "There was other stuff, too."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"I bought a speedboat the other day…"

Kathy's eyes lit up. "You did? Ooh can we go on it? I love boating!"

"Funny story…I kind of crashed it..."

Kathy just rolled her eyes. "I should've figured that would happen."

Hayden spoke up. "So what are you going to do now, since you've wasted your entire life savings on beer and a speedboat?"

I let out a not so ladylike burp. "I dunno, I prefer to live in the moment."

"Angela, I think you should seriously consider getting a job. Neither of us want to see you turn into a hobo," Hayden admitted. "And don't start talking about how cool you think hobos are!" he added quickly before I could say how cool I thought hobos were.

"Yeah, what do you say about getting a job?" Kathy patted my shoulder.

I didn't say anything to her. I just wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"Here," Hayden started. "Why don't you tell us what kind of job you had back in Seattle and we can work from there."

"I was the birthday gram person, you know, people would send me to a friend's house and I would sing happy birthday," I replied, finishing off the last bit of my beer.

Kathy and Hayden stared at me in shock. "Um, don't the birthday gram people do other things too, if you know what I mean?" Kathy asked awkwardly.

"Oh, you mean strip? Yeah, the good ol' days." I chuckled, recalling a certain memory. "There was this one time when I was sent to a little kid's birthday party. I was doing my normal job, but they started crying for some reason when I started taking my clothes off. That was the day I got fired. I still don't know why."

Finn chocked on the beer.

Hayden cleared his throat. "Err, well let's just start from scratch, shall we?"

"Hehe, yeah let's!" Kathy laughed nervously.

Just then, I had a brilliant idea. "Hey, do you guys are a little short on help, why don't—,"

"NO!" Hayden and Kathy said in unison.

I frowned. "You guys don't even know what I was going to say!"

"You are not working here, Angela!" Hayden said.

"Why not?"

"You would drink us dry and not leave anything for the customers!"

He had a good point. "Well that leaves me nothing!" I whined.

Kathy whipped out the pad of paper and pencil she used for taking orders. "Here, I'll write down a list of places you should check out. Please just give them a fair chance, alright?" she ripped off the sheet and gave it to me.

I scanned the list and looked back at Kathy. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, and you should start right now so you don't starve to death," she answered, shoving me out the door.

Finn sat on my shoulder. "So, where to?"

I looked at the first option on the list and grimaced. "The blacksmith's. Oh what fun."

"Who knows, maybe it might be fun?" Finn said hopefully.

We walked to the Mine District and I slammed the blacksmith's door open. Ramsey looked up from some papers. "I demand a job!" I shouted dramatically. Finn facepalmed.

"Well, I do suppose I could use an extra hand around here…" he mused, stroking his unnaturally pointy beard.

"So does that mean I got the job?"

"Well, yeah."

"Cool beans!" I cheered, skipping towards him. "So what should I do?"

"Erm, do you know how to make horseshoes?"

"You betcha!"

"Then let's get started."

About thirty minutes later, I sat back down next to Ramsey by the fire. I stuck a couple of marshmallows on the metal stick and stuck them into the fire. He did a double take when he saw the marshmallows. "Are you done already with the shoes?"

I smiled and nodded. "They came out really well. Here, I'll show you!" I pulled out the four red booties I had made for the horses. There were little flowers on the sides. Finn had helped me make them. "Aren't they cute?"

"…Angela?"

"Yeah?"

"Those aren't horseshoes."

"What? Yeah they are!"

Ramsey sighed. "Here, just watch to see how I make them."

When he finished showing me, he let me try it out. "Be careful," he warned.

"Geez, you worry too much old man!" I snorted as I stuck the glob of metal into the fire.

Finn and I chomped on the marshmallows as I waited for the metal to get hot enough. Then, Finn got up off my shoulder and flew off. "Hey Angela, come check this out!"

"What is it?"

"I just found the biggest pinecone ever!"

"Really? Let me see!" I tossed the metal aside and ran over to where Finn was. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the hot metal had slammed right into Chloe's face, but I chose to ignore it. Finn wasn't kidding when he said the pinecone was big. The thing was freaking massive. "Holy cow, it's ginormous!"

"Oh my goodness!" Ramsey screamed.

I looked up at him. "What's wrong, gramps?"

"Chloe's been hurt!"

I peeked at the massive red spot on Chloe's forehead. "Wow, I have good aim."

"You mean you did this to her?" Ramsey asked.

"Oh it's not that bad," I laughed, waving it away with my hand. "She's perfectly fine, right Chloe?"

"I'm alright!" she replied.

"That's the spirit kid!" I smiled, purposefully stepping on her stomach as I walked over to a chair. "So what's next?"

Ramsey looked a little disturbed. "Um, why don't you just handle the cash register for now?"

I shrugged. "Sounds like a plan to me."

I sat on the counter next to the cash register, propping my feet up on it. Finn flew over to me sipping on a slushie. "Hey where'd you get that?" I asked, eyeing the slushie hungrily.

Finn turned away from me. "Don't be looking at my slushie like that. Get your own."

Within a second I had flattened him with the flyswatter. I picked up the smoothie and sipped it. "Ah, the sweet taste of power…and cherry!"

Just then, Kasey, the new farmer, walked in. "Um, where's Ramsey?" he asked when he saw me.

"Do I look like I would know, let alone care about where that smelly old fart is?"

Kasey gave me a once-over. "No, not really. Anyways, I need to upgrade my hoe, so—," he was cut off when I burst out laughing. "What's wrong with you?"

"You said hoe!" I cackled.

He rolled his eyes. "Can you just take it so I can leave? I have places to be."

I finally quit laughing so I could take an obnoxious slurp from my slushie. "Someone needs to learn better manners," I scolded, waving the half empty cup in his face. "What's got you in a hurry anyways, a hot date? Ooh, I bet I know who it is, too! Is it that freaky deaky weirdo Anissa chick? I think so—,"

"Anissa is not weird!" Kasey yelled.

I hopped off the counter. "Aha, so it is Anissa! Man, I'm on fire today! You know, I heard that she and Jin were a thing. You better watch out, 'cause she might be two-timing you!"

"Oh for the love of god, would you just shut UP!" Kasey screamed. I could've sworn that his eyes were about to pop out of his head, and there was a vein popping out on his forehead. _Hm, maybe I'll get lucky and he'll explode…_

Kasey kept on yelling at me, but I was already spacing out, thinking about sporks.

The next five minutes were a total blur to me. I remember something about Ramsey having to calm down a mentally scarred Kasey, who was in fetal position, and me being chased out of the shop with a broom.

I stood outside, snapping out of my trance-like state. Finn was right on my shoulder. I looked at him. "Did I just get fired?"

"I guess, I mean Ramsey was screaming about how you're never allowed to enter the shop as long as he lives."

"Oh, I see," I said, nodding. "Well he's like, ancient so I won't have to wait too long!"

As we started walking back downtown, I realized something. "Awww man, I forgot my smoothie…"

**Okay people, there it is! Its chapter one of Angela's job chronicles! I have a couple more in store until she finally gets the right one. Oh, and on a side note, if you could pick one character from ANY of the other Harvest Moon games to appear in this story, who would it be? What do you think she/he would do with Angela? It's just a little thought I have in the back of my head, so give me as many ideas as possible. Don't forget to review!**


	19. Retarded Jailbait

**Wow guys, it's been 9 months since I've last updated. I'm sorry. I just was not in the mood to write anything for a while, not to mention my last semester classes were eating me alive. This semester, everything is fine and I've found Angela and Finn once more. Enjoy!**

Well I ended up right back where I started: at the bar. I had no problem with it, but apparently, Kathy would not let this be.

"Come ON Angela!" she exclaimed, wiping her hands on her skirt. "You tried one place and you're already giving up?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah, pretty much. Work isn't my thing, I suppose."

Kathy just glared at me. _Oh crap, _I thought.

"Oh my, look at the time!" I exclaimed, looking at my nonexistent watch. "I really should go home, you know." I stood up and made a mad dash for the door. I was within reach when Kathy tackled me onto the floor. _So close, so freaking close…_

"You're not going anywhere but the…" Kathy pulled the list out of my pocket and looked through it. "The carpenter shop."

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

About twenty minutes later, I was in front of Creepy Dale's shop. Finn was next to me, and Kathy was standing right behind me in case I attempted to run away. "Well, go on," she drawled.

I cringed as I reached for the doorknob, but the door swung open wide, hitting me in the head, causing me to flop onto the ground like a dead fish. Or a live one that's really tired. Finn didn't bother to comment, for things like this occurred on a daily basis and were no longer funny. He just ate his granola bar in a bored silence.

"If it isn't my old friend Angela!" Dale boomed. I got back up, not even bothering to smile. "Uh, hi."

"So, what can I do for ya?"

"Um, well, nothing. See you around!" I tried to walk off, but Kathy grabbed me and spun me around again.

"Angela would like a job workin' here, if you don't mind," she said in a sugar sweet voice. "If you screw this up, no more free drinks," she threatened in my ear.

I grumbled at the ground. Dale chuckled. "Well she wouldn't even have to ask, of course I'd let her! Come on in!"

Without warning, Dale had grabbed me and dragged me into his shop/house.

"Alright, missy. Here's what you're gonna do for me: stand behind the cash register and take people's orders, okay?"

"Unngh…"

"Great! I'm off to feed Boss. He eats like crazy!" he laughed, patting the dog on his freeze dried head. I shivered and headed behind the counter. "Five seconds in here and I already want to quit."

Finn sat on the counter and flipped through a nearby I Spy book. "Oh, so are you going to just ignore me and make me suffer this whole time?" I asked, irritated.

"Sure, why not? I think it'll be fun to watch you go more insane than you already are," he replied flatly.

I huffed. "Fine then. Be that way."

And there was silence.

An Hour Later…

I banged my head against the cash register, finding it to be the only entertaining thing in the shop. Dale had left to do who-knows-what and Finn was ignoring me for his own enjoyment. "You're getting paid for this, you're getting paid for this, you're getting paid for this…" I kept telling myself over and over.

"Paid for what, babe?" a voice asked.

I jumped up. It was Luke, Dale's son. He was leaning against the counter, his head dangerously close to mine. "Um…my job?" I replied, realizing that he was checking me out. "I work here now."

He smiled. "Well that's great! Looks like we'll be seeing more of each other, doll." With a wink, he turned around and tripped, giving the ground a pretty good high five with his face.

I stared at him in disbelief as he got back up and walked off to go sand down some wood or something. I could hear Finn snickering next to me. "It's not funny, you jerk," I hissed at him.

"Of course it is! He's a total dumbass! Have you seen him work before? Look at him!"

I watched Luke just as he was about to hammer in a nail. He raised the hammer, poking himself in the eye with the end. "AHH!" He shouted, then bringing down the hammer right onto his thumb. "DANG IT!"

Finn was enjoying this immensely. "And to think that he's crushing on _you_! It's hilarious!"

I felt a headache coming on and it wasn't from alcohol this time. Although alcohol did sound nice then…

"You got any booze, Finn?"

"What?"

"I need some beer, wine, whiskey, anything!"

"That was random, but no. I don't."

"Darn."

I began to count how many hairs were on my head before Luke came up to me. "Hey cutie."

I sighed. "Hi, Luke."

"How's everything going so far?"

"Fine," I answered, walking out from behind the cash register to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich.

"Hey, why don't we count shoulders?" he suggested walking next to me.

"What?"

He pointed to his shoulders. "One, two…" Then he pointed to my shoulder. "three…four!" He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer to him.

"OMIGOD." I slid to the ground and escaped his grip.

"Hey, you wanna see my bandana collection?" he asked, excitedly. Before I could answer, he cut me off. "I'll go get 'em!" And he ran off to his room.

Finn wiped a tear from his eye as he sat on my shoulder. "Oh this is too good." I flicked his head and raided the fridge for sandwich materials. All they had was spinach and mayonnaise. "Ew." I slammed the fridge door closed.

"Here they are!" Luke dropped a giant box of bandanas in front of me. They all looked exactly the same. He picked the first one up. "This one's name is Jeffery." He patted it and set it down, picking up the next one. "And this one's name is Steve."

"Well, this has been fun! I gotta get back to work!" I said, hurrying away from Luke.

"You know, hon," he started, following me. "We should like, totally go somewhere sometime. Like…go to the café or something." By now I was ready to smack him for his stupidity.

"Go easy on him, Angela!" Finn warned, reminding me about Kathy's deal. I sighed, trying to push away my anger.

"Luke, how old are you? Sixteen, or something?"

"I just turned seventeen!" he said proudly.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm twenty-two, so if I went out with you, I'd probably get sent to jail. That's why we can't be together, got it?"

"Aw, come on!" he whined.

"Why don't you just date someone your own age? There are plenty of…decent girls here…I suppose. I'm sure they're desperate enough to data a guy like you."

"Really?" he asked with hope in his eyes.

"Sure, why not?"

Luke smiled at me. "Gee, thanks Angela!"

I gave him a smile. "No problem kid." I was surprised at how nice I suddenly was. _Oh the things I do for free drinks_.

Just then, Dale came back in. "Well it looks like you two are getting along just fine!" he said.

"Yeah, dad! Angela told me that there's a bunch of decent girls out there who I can date!"

"That's the spirit, son!" Dale patted Luke on the back. _Who knows, maybe I might actually work here for a while, _I thought to myself.

"Oh Angela, can you take Boss outside? I think he needs to use the bathroom."

I took one look at Boss and all positive thoughts about the carpenter shop dissolved in seconds. "That's it, I quit," I announced, walking out the door.

Finn flew next to me. "But Angela, we won't get anymore drinks for free. And we don't have any money! You're an idiot!"

"I might be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not. And that, Finn, is an idiot."

"That doesn't even make any sense."

"So?"

Finn facepalmed. "Oh well, you got us into this mess, so you gotta get us out. All without any alcohol."

"Well, I can do that. We just won't tall Kathy about this!" I replied.

"Won't tell Kathy about what?" a familiar voice twanged.

I looked up to see Kathy with her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed.

"…oh shi—"

**Read this PLEASE! I apologize for all the Luke bashing, but this is a parody, after all. I will bash anyone and anything that moves, so yeah. Please don't get angry about that. Don't forget to review. The more I get, the better I feel about myself! Hooray for higher self confidence!**


	20. Someone Call the Doctor!

**Here's another chapter. I know I just posted one, but I feel bad for not posting in the same time it takes to HAVE A BABY! *eye twitches* I'm sorry guys. Enjoy the chapter…**

Kathy paced furiously back and forth across the empty bar, her blonde ponytail swishing back and forth. "I can't believe you, Angela! Of all the people in the world, you are the ONLY one who can't hold down a job for THREE HOURS! I mean even I…" she continued ranting, but none of it actually registered in my head.

_I wonder what her hair looks like down…_I mused.

"…Do you understand, Angela?" she asked, suddenly up in my face.

"Uh yeah, totally," I agreed, having no clue what she just said.

Kathy smiled, calming down. "That's great! You'll start work at the clinic tomorrow, 9 AM sharp!"

I stared at her. "What?"

Finn nudged my head. "Just go along with it!"

I laughed nervously. "I mean, great! I'll be there! Later!" I hopped off the bar stool and left the bar.

Nearing the exit to Harmonica Town, I looked over at Finn. "What the hell just happened in there?"

Finn scratched his nose. "If I'm right, Kathy got you a job at the clinic, and if you screw this one up, then some serious stuff is gonna go down."

I looked at him funny. "What kind of 'serious stuff'?"

Finn shrugged. "I don't know, but coming from Kathy, it's gotta be pretty scary."

I couldn't help but agree.

Later that night, me and Finn sat in our bathroom. "I wonder what the clinic work will be like?" Finn wondered aloud.

I rubbed shaving cream all over my legs. "I don't have a freaking clue. I mean, am I even qualified to do stuff in a doctor's office?"

"I think so…did you even go to college?" Finn asked, shaving his 5'oclock shadow. "I've always meant to ask you that."

"College?" I scoffed. "Pfft, please. I barely got through high school!" I picked up my razor and began to shave my legs.

"Ah, so many things make sense now," Finn snorted.

"Hey, it's not—OW!" I nicked my knee. "—funny!"

"Do you think I should grow a beard?"

I gave Finn an annoyed look as I secretly wiped the blood on Finn's nearby hat. "What does this have to do with my job?"

"I think I should have a beard. Or maybe a moustache, like the cool swirly ones.

"Whatever."

The next day, I crawled out of bed and headed straight to the clinic without breakfast. I glared at the little bell that went off as I opened the clinic door. After everything with the Goddess, I had a thing against any kind of bells.

Irene looked up at me from her Good Housekeeping magazine. "Oh hello, Angela. You're just in time."

"Great," I yawned. "What do I do?"

"Just go right into the back room and help out Dr. Jin. He'll have things for you to do."

"Okey dokey."

I walked into the back room and saw and Asian man with long black hair pulled back into a ponytail and a doctor coat standing over a man on a cot. "I suppose your Dr. Jin," I said, interrupting him from reading one of those cool doctor charts.

"Indeed, I am. You must be Angela."

"Yessiree." I walked over to see Craig the cranky old farmer on the cot. He had a giant open gash on his side. "What's his problem?"

"Multiple stab wounds from his wife."

"Oh. Ew. Shouldn't someone notify the cops or something if…?"

Jin waved that thought off. "This isn't the first time this has happened. Craig and his wife get into constant arguments."

"Ah, that…still doesn't make sense, but who cares?"

I watched silently as Jin worked on Craig. He didn't really seem to need my help, so I quietly edged over to his computer and played Solitaire. Finn helped give me hints since I overlooked pretty much every card.

**Thirty Minutes Later…**

"Angela, put that five of diamonds over there!" Finn flew and pointed to the screen.

"Got it."

Jin turned around to look at me. "Angela, can you go over there and get that syringe?" He pointed to a table in the corner.

"Sure, what do you need it for?"

He pushed his glasses up his nose. "I'm going to sedate Craig in order to stitch his wound."

I picked up the syringe, gazing at the dangerously long needle. "Cool beans, dude."

Finn stared at it wide-eyed. "Wow, imagine stabbing someone with that thing."

I chuckled at the thought. Just as I was about to hand the syringe to Jin, my foot somehow got caught behind the other and I quickly grew closer to the ground, bringing Jin down with me.

"Crap, that hurt," I whined, sitting back up, rubbing my head.

I stood back up and brushed off my shorts. "What's wrong?" I asked Finn. He looked really worried. He pointed a finger at the ground. I looked down to see Jin out cold. And the syringe well into his side. "…Oh…"

I looked at Irene. She hadn't seen anything happen.

I turned back to Finn. "What do I do?" I hissed.

"I don't know! Do I freaking look like I would know?" Finn's eyes darted around the room to find something. "Hey, maybe if we give him a couple of those pills on his desk!"

"Okay!" I snatched the bottle up and kneeled beside Jin's still body. The only problem was that the cap wasn't coming off. No matter what I did, it wouldn't budge. "Damn these childproof lids!" I gnawed on the side, but nothing happened. In the end, I hurled it against the wall and the pills scattered all across the tile floor.

I grabbed two and plopped them into Jin's mouth. "Wait Angela! He'll choke if you do that! Get some water, first!" Finn ordered. I quickly poured some water into a nearby bowl and dumped it down his throat.

He coughed a few times and began convulsing. "Oh crap, run!" Finn panicked. We got up and sprinted out of that clinic faster than we've ever ran before.

Once we made it to the street, I slowed to a walk, my heart still pounding. After we caught our breath, Finn spoke up again. "So what should we do, now?"

"I don't know. I'm scared to go see Kathy right now, so maybe we should avoid the bar for a while."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

To kill some time, we decided to head into the Ocarina Inn. We heard they had pretty good food. I was seated by a girl with short blond hair named Maya. Our lunch was filled with silence, until I broke it. "Do you think we killed him?"

Finn nibbled on a cherry. "Who knows? I don't think people are supposed to foam at the mouth like he did."

"Oh god, this is happening to me all over again!" I complained, banging my head on the wood table.

"You mean, this has happened to you before?"

"Long story short, I might have given this wrong medication to a friend when he was sick and caused him to have a brain aneurism, but in my defense, he had a lot of different medications in his bathroom! It was easy to get confused!"

Finn was quiet for a moment. "Do you have any cash to pay for this?" he asked.

"No, I thought you were going to cover the cost."

"I'm a fairy, not an ATM!" Finn threw his arms in the air.

I thought about this for a moment. "We can always just dine-and-dash. I did that all the time when I was younger."

"What would Kathy do to you if she found out?"

I groaned. "Ugh, I forgot about _her_. Not only am I broke to the point of not being able to buy a stupid meal, but I'm pretty sure I won't be welcome back to the clinic for a very long time. What do we do, now?"

Finn didn't respond. Apparently I wasn't the only one out of ideas.

Maya walked over to my table. "Is everything okay? You've been talking to yourself for quite a while, and I'm a little concerned.

"Oh! Um, I'm…" Just then, an idea sprouted into my head. "I'm looking for a job, do you think I would be able to work here?" I asked in a somewhat sweet voice.

Maya looked a little surprised, but she smiled. "Let me ask my mom, but I think she'll be thrilled to have some extra help in here!" She bounced off, stumbling over her own feet a couple times.

Finn was surprised. "Are you serious about this?"

"Hey, if it'll keep Kathy off my back and give me booze privileges, I'm about willing to do anything right now."

Maya and her mother Coleen came over my table. "Maya told me you were looking for a job?" she asked kindly.

"Uh, yeah, if that's cool with you."

Coleen smiled at me. "I'd love to have you work here. You can work as a maid since our last one was deported back to Mexico."

"That's great! Oh one more thing. I don't have enough cash to pay for my food right now, so do you think that you'll be able to take that out of my paycheck, or something?"

"I think we can work something out. How about you start Saturday? We open at 8 in the morning."

The corner of my mouth twitched up into a smile. "Great, thanks a bunch!"

I left the inn with a goofy smile on my face. "I have no clue what they saw in you," Fin admitted, picking food out of his teeth.

"I'm pretty sure they felt pity, or something, but who gives a crap? I can have my drinks, again! And Kathy won't yell at me anymore!" I spun around with my arms out, enjoying the sun.

"Well that's all nice, but what are we going to tell her about Jin?" Finn asked, causing me to stop in my tracks.

"Ugh, way to totally kill the mood, dude." I leaned against a random brick wall and slid to the ground. "I guess we can just say I wasn't qualified to do work, or something."

There was a silence.

"You know someone's going to tell her what happened, right?"

"Shut up, Finn."

**Well there it is! Two chapters in two days! I'm so happy to finally write again. I am currently listening to Hilary Duff right now, if anyone cares (probably not). Tell me what you think about everything so far in your reviews! I love to hear all of your ideas!111!oneoneoneone111!**


	21. Chapter 21

**The next chapter is now UP! I apologize for the delay, I couldn't log on to my FF account for a couple days when I was ready to post Saturday. Oh well. I've got loads of ideas and I can't wait to write them all! Enjoy!**

I walked into Harmonica Town, clad in my new uniform, which consisted of a plain dark blue dress and an apron. "I honestly don't see why I have to wear this _thing_. My regular clothes are just fine," I whined, poking at the dress.

"Well first of all, your old clothes SMELL," Finn stated. "You haven't worn anything else since you came here."

I frowned. "My clothes smelled fine."

"Yeah, that's what you think. I could smell you in another room for Goddess sake! Second, you shouldn't complain since it might cost you another job!"

"Fine," I gave up. "I can't afford losing anymore booze. I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms." I pointed to my noticeably twitching eye.

Finn ignored me. "I wonder what this job will be like?" he mused, stroking the beginnings of his moustache.

"I'm not sure, I've never been the best at cleaning, so…"

"Well, you better get good at it, because we're here."

I stopped in front of the tiny inn, narrowing my eyes at it. "I won't let you ruin my chances to get drinks. This is SPARTA!" I shouted before casually strolling inside.

Coleen saw me and smiled. "Right on time, Angela. I have all of your cleaning supplies waiting for you at the top of the stairs. If you need help with anything, just come ask me."

I forced a smile on my face. "Thanks."

I headed up the stairs and saw a huge cart with toilet paper, buckets, you name it, it was on there. "Oh joy," I said sarcastically. "Am I supposed to lug this thing around with me?"

"I wouldn't be complaining, Angela, there are only like, five rooms here and no one is even in them," Finn called to me. He was checking out each of the rooms. "And they all look clean to me."

A grin slowly made its way across my face. "Really?"

"Yeah, and it seems that the toilets are-," he turned around to see me dive on an empty bed. "-in good shape. Angela, what on earth is your problem?" I inched my shoes off with my feet and crawled under the covers.

"What are you talking about? I don't have any problems. I just need a little cat nap."

Finn was spazzing out by now. "What if someone sees you? Then you'll get fired and we'll be even poorer than we are now and we'll have to eat weeds and dirt and crawl under a rock and DIE!" he threw himself onto the pillow next to me and began sobbing.

I rolled my eyes, knowing that I had to comfort him if I was going to get any form of sleep. "Look Finn, when have you ever known to have seen anyone up here? Aside from the one person that might actually use one of the rooms up here once every ten years, nobody comes up here. Besides when was the last night you've actually been able to sleep good? Hm? Like, probably forever ago. If life gives you lemons, you better make some damn lemonade, right?"

Finn sniveled, wiping his nose on his sleeves. "Okay, I guess. I don't know why I'm even listening to you right now, but…" within seconds, he was out cold.

"Well that was easy," I said to myself before turning on my side and passing out. My dreams were filled with my two best friends: Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan. I felt as if I was in heaven, only to wake up back in the hotel bed. "Aw, why did I have to wake up?"

Although I was still sad, I felt great after that nap. I checked the clock only to realize it was 4 in the afternoon. "Crap."

I grabbed Finn and threw him on the floor. "Get up, stupid."

Immune to the abuse, Finn got up. "You should probably make the bed. It's not like you have any other work to do around here, anyways."

I pulled the covers further up on the bed in a half-hearted attempt to make it look nice. "How's that?"

"Crappy, but better than the usual work you do."

I shrugged and headed down the stairs. Maya bounced up to me. "Hi Angela! You were up there for a long time! Were you working hard?" she asked in a perky voice. I looked around to realize we were the only ones inside the inn at the moment.

"Uh yeah, of course I was. It's not like I was sleeping or anything!" I laughed, a nervous smile plastered on my face.

She giggled. Her cheerfulness was getting on my nerves. "Great! I'm so glad you like it—oh CAKE!" Maya sprinted over to a counter where a nice looking cake sat. Finn and I gazed in amazement while Maya gobbled up the entire cake within minutes.

"Dang, that girl can eat," Finn commented, his eyes wide.

Just as Maya finished licking icing off her fingers, the chef at the bar Chase walked in. He stopped dead in his tracks. "Where's my cake?" he panicked, running his finger through his messy strawberry blonde hair.

Maya attempted to silently edge away until Chase pointed an accusing finger at her. "Did YOU eat my cake? MY precious cake?"

"Pssh NO! Why would I ever do that?" She batted her eyelashes innocently.

Chase became an eerie calm. "Well, I suppose that's a good thing, because I put rat poison in the cake. We wouldn't want you to die, now, would we?"

Sweat rolled down Maya's face. "O-of course not! That would suck, am I right?"

"Indeed, it would." And with that, Maya broke down crying.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know, and now I'm going to die!" Maya cried, rolling around on the floor.

While Maya continued to cry, I walked up to Chase. "That was a pretty funny prank, you know, saying you put rat poison in the cake."

Chase looked at me with a dead serious look. "Who said that was a prank?"

"Wait, you actually…" I looked over at Maya only to realize she was no longer moving. "Well whaddya know. You killed her."

Chase stood there with his arms crossed admiring his work. I patted him on the back. "Kudos to you, man," I complemented before dragging Maya's lifeless body into a nearby trashcan.

The doors to the inn opened. "She's baaaaack," Finn said in a singsong voice.

I turned around to see Kathy walking in. "Hey guys! Why aren't you at the bar, Chase?" she asked.

"Oh I was just taking care of some business," he replied in a monotone voice before leaving.

Kathy shrugged the vague comment off before turning to me. "And what about you? I thought you were supposed to be working for Jin."

"Oh, things didn't…work out very well there, but Coleen was nice enough to let me work here."

"Well that's great! I'm happy you took charge to turn your life around! Come on, let's go get a drink!"

I was ecstatic. Without hesitation, I was walking arm in arm with Kathy back to the bar.

I sat down at my usual spot and Hayden handed me a jug of something. "It's great to have you back," he said as if it had been forever since we had seen each other.

"Don't I know it," I replied, downing the whole drink in a matter of seconds. I felt at peace once more.

"Looks like someone let the dog in," a snooty voice scoffed.

I looked next to me to see Luna, sipping some fruity looking drink. I turned my whole body facing her. "You know usually, I would be kicking your ass right now, but I'm in way too good of a mood to do that."

Luna sneered at me.

Before I could say something clever, Kathy snapped her fingers to get my attention again. "Watch it, Angela. We don't want a repeat of what happened last time."

I shrugged my shoulders and focused my attention on my second drink. I had snagged a straw so Finn could get some drink too, figuring he sort of deserved to get wasted after putting up with me.

"Oh Angela!" The mayor lumbered in, wiggling himself up onto a barstool. "What great timing you have!" he chuckled before turning to Kathy. "I'll have the usual, Darling."

Once Kathy gave him a glass of wine, he took a generous sip and looked back at me. "I just had all of your belongings from your old apartment shipped here on the ferry. They had arrived some time in the early morning."

I chocked on my own spit. "What? Who said I wasn't going back home?"

"Haven't you read the island rules? Anyone who stays here longer than a month is a permanent citizen!"

My eyes narrowed. "How come I've never heard about this?"

The mayor laughed nervously. "Well I suppose I must've forgotten to tell you…yes, let's just go with that!"

I clenched my fists, trying not to punch the mayor. "How did you even get my old address?"

"Ohohoho, let's not get into details, missy. All of your things are waiting for you outside of your house." The mayor finished the last drops out of his glass and placed it on the table. "Put this on my tab," he ordered Hayden before hopping off the barstool. "It was nice to see you, Angela!"

I flipped him off as he walked out of the bar. When he was gone, I turned back around and slammed my head on the counter. "WHY?"

Luna patted my back. "Your poor sap."

I glared at her. "Shut up, you're not the one trapped on this island for the rest of your life."

She snorted. "Uh, how do you think I ended up here? Do you think I actually wanted to come to live in this town full of nobodies?"

"Watch your mouth, Luna," Kathy warned.

Luna waved away the comment with her hand. "You lived here your whole life. You know nothing of the outside world, so shut up." She turned back to me. "This is just the way the mayor gets any money. You're just going to have to suck it up and freaking deal with it."

"Wow Luna, you're so nice all of a sudden. What gives?" I asked, sitting back up.

"It's mostly the drink talking. Don't count on this happening ever again," she replied, taking another sip of her drink.

"That's cool with me," I said back. I raised my drink up in the air. "Here's to living in hell!"

Pretty much everyone one in the bar raised their glass. "To living in hell!" they boomed in unison.

And we all drank till we couldn't even stand.

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to review! I love to hear what you guys have to sayyyyy! The more reviews, the faster I post, so…REVIEW!**


	22. Shrunken Heads and Stuff

**Okay, I have nothing to say except for a HUGE apology. I'm really sorry, you guys. I just lost all inspiration for writing and I couldn't force myself to write if I didn't want to. But I'm here now, and I plan to write as much as possible over Christmas Break! Enjoy!**

"I can't believe all of my stuff was actually sent here!" I shouted as I ran to all the boxes in front of my house.

"I'm a little scared to see what you have in there," Finn said from behind me.

As I looked over all the boxes I realized something. "How are we going to get all of these boxes inside the house?"

"Aren't you just going to move them all?" Finn asked.

"Pssh, no. I'm too lazy to do something like that. I'll just…Hey you!" I called a nearby Owen over. "Put these boxes inside that house over there," I said to him very slowly, making lots of hand motions.

He stood there, waiting for the information to process in his head before he nodded and proceeded moving all of my stuff.

Once he was done, I headed into my house without giving him any sort of praise. I grabbed a kitchen knife and began slicing at the boxes.

"Looks like you're having a little too much fun with that knife, Ange," Finn stated.

"Keep talking and you'll be next, Fairy Boy." I dumped all the crap out of the first box. It appeared that Hamilton was too cheap to even put any bubble wrap in them.

I was reunited with my old laptop, which I was thankful for. I found the charger and plugged it into the nearest outlet. After plunging my kitchen knife into the next box, I tipped it over.

A bunch of my old shrunken heads tumbled out. "Oh dear God!" Finn shrieked. "W-why on earth would you keep these kind of things?"

I gathered them all up in my arms and inhaled deeply. "Ah, I missed that smell." I got up and placed them on the windowsill.

"You're a disgusting human being, you know," Finn grumbled. I smiled at him and went through the next box.

"Hey, I completely forgot about this thing!" I exclaimed, holding up my old Chucky doll. "Oh, the good ol' days…"

"I'm really scared to see what you're old place looked like with all this stuff in it." Finn peeked inside another one of the boxes after poking through it with my old pocket knife. "Okay, I'm pretty sure something died in here. Ew."

After about thirty minutes of dumping everything out of the boxes, Finn and I looked over everything that we had. "Well from what it looks like, you're better off here than you were before," he said.

And he was right. I had absolutely nothing to my name back in Seattle. Aside from a trusty beer pong and a keg of slightly stale beer, not much was worth keeping. Surrounding me was a moth eaten couch, a half-working toaster oven, a plunger, my old thrift store clothes, an empty Kleenex box, and a dvd box set of Cops.

"Well what do you suggest we do with it?" asked Finn. "Nothing here looks very sanitary..."

"I'd say eBay is the way to go for all of this junk…except for the Cops box set. I want that." I snatched it up and placed it on my coffee table, making a mental note to have a Cops marathon sometime soon.

"But who would want to buy any of this? It's all equally disgusting."

I grinned. "That's where lying comes in." I sprawled out on the floor and opened my laptop. "Come on, let's get this crap sold."

A couple hours of Photoshop and bidding, we actually got everything sold for a little over eight hundred dollars.

"So," I turned to Finn, taking a sip of apple juice. "What should we do, now?"

Finn scrunched up his nose in thought. "Hmmm, you wanna get wasted?"

"As much fun as that sounds, I'm still getting over that hangover from yesterday." I rolled onto my back. "But you know what would be MORE fun than getting wasted?"  
"What?" he asked as he munched on a barbecue chip.

"Getting wasted _at a party_."

Finn gazed at me for a moment. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Are you thinking about throwing a party or playing Connect Four?"

"What do you think, Angela?" Finn retorted. "But Connect Four does sound fun, right now."

**Well there you have it. The first chapter in a long time. It wasn't as long as I would have liked it to be, but I wanted to get this up fast. I'll be working on the next chapters shortly. Reviews are nice. All flames will be used to roast marshmallows.**


	23. Partying Hard or Hardly Partying?

**And here is yet another chapter! Didn't I promise that I would upload fast? Hm? What's that? I couldn't hear you over my awesomeness. Eh, well here goes nothin. Enjoy.**

Planning a party in Harmonica Town was way easier than I had expected. It took all of five minutes to tell Gill at the Town Hall. Next thing I knew, everyone had heard about it and promised to make it there.

"Man, I'm so pumped about tonight!" I told Finn as I made space in the living room for the party. "It's been so long since I've been able to go crazy."

"Well, what do you call what happened at the bar the other night? Normal?" Finn chuckled, flipping through cd's. I had appointed him as head DJ.

"What do you mean? I was perfectly good at the bar," I defended myself.

Finn snorted. "Try telling that to poor Calvin."

"Ha! That lame Indiana Jones wannabe? He got what was comin' to him!" I proceeded to unplug the tv and hoist it onto my back. "HOLY crap, this thing is heavy."

"What are you doing with the tv?" Finn flew beside me as I slowly made my way up the stairs.

"I'm putting it in a safe place. I know how crazy these parties get, and I'm not about to have my pride and joy ruined by drunken idiots."

Finn snickered. "Angela. You do realize that you're in Harmonica Town, right?"

"Yeah. And?"

"Nobody parties like you do. Not here. _Nobody_."

I set the tv in the attic and collapsed onto the ground. "Eh, it's nothing a little booze can't fix. Alcohol can change anybody, trust me."

"Well just promise me you'll start out slow, and get them used to the whole situation before you do anything crazy."

"You're talking like they're losing their virginity to me," I grimaced.

"Most of them are virgins." That cracked us up.

I wiped a tear from my eye. "Wow that thing was heavy!" My limbs were going numb from all the heavy lifting.

"You know, a little working out wouldn't hurt," Finn stated.

"Screw you."

Later on, it came time for people to start arriving. I checked my reflection in the bathroom mirror one last time. It had been a while since I had used any form of makeup, or worn anything remotely nice.

"How do I look?" I turned to Finn, placing a hand on my hip.

He gazed at me clad in my short, skin-tight, black sequined dress and stilettos. "You look like a slut."

I placed a hand over my heart. "Thank you."

The doorbell rang, and I squealed, running to answer the door. I came face to face with Coleen and Cain. "Hey guys, what's up?"

Coleen's eyes widened when she saw me, and Cain's eyes zeroed in on my chest. With a smack on the back of the head by his wife, Cain's head snapped back up. "H-hi Angela, uh, thank you for inviting us. You look absolutely stunning."

Coleen rolled her eyes while I fought to hide my amusement. Finn cracked up.

"Thanks!" I opened the door a bit wider. "Come on in, you guys!"

The couple walked in and looked around. "You have such a wonderful home!" Coleen complimented.

I snorted. "There's a first."

She looked over at me. "Pardon?"

"Oh, it's nothing!" I waved it away.

"Ah…well we brought beef brisket!" she exclaimed, handing me a giant plate wrapped in foil.

"Er, thanks Coleen!" I set it on the dinner table. As a part of our agreement, Finn played some Sinatra to 'start off slow' for the villagers.

Before things could get any more awkward, I heard the doorbell ring once again. "Oh, more people! Thank god," I muttered the last part under my breath and opened the door.

Luke leaned against the door frame with a cocky grin plastered on his face. "Whoa! Looking good, Angie." His grin widened.

"We've been over this before, Luke. It's not happening."

"Hey, it can't hurt the boy to try, right?" Dan bellowed, patting his equally weird son on the back. "Beautiful as ever, Angela!" He complimented before giving me a pat on the bottom.

"Wow, they're all perverts," Finn stated.

I shrugged. "It's not nearly as bad as it was back home."

As the room filled with more people, the more boring everything got. I sat on the counter next to all of the food and glared at the friendly socialization. "Man, you weren't kidding when you said they get boring," I told Finn before sipping the sparkling grape juice that Ellie and Yolanda brought. Fun.

Finn grumbled in agreement, munching on some cheese cubes. We sat in silence for a moment before I remembered something. Finn noticed my excitement. "What's that evil look on your face for?"

"You'll see." I pulled a plastic baggie out from my bra and snatched another bottle of sparking grape juice.

"What's that bag full of?" Finn asked, a smile forming on his little face.

I grinned. "Oh, just some stuff I had an old friend send me," I answered, pouring it into the bottle. "Just a sip or two of this'll make them go crazy."

I poured some for us and raised the glass. "Bottoms up, little dude." Finn sipped some from a straw as I hopped down from the counter and refilled any and every glass I saw. I found a nearby chair and got up on it. "Yo! Listen up, you guys!"

The entire village turned to look at me. "Um, I'd like to make a toast, but I guess I should thank you all for showing up…so thanks! Yeah, and cheers to…life! And other stuff!"

Everyone chuckled and took a sip of their spiked drinks, including me.

Within minutes, the whole atmosphere had changed. All of the lights were off except for some Christmas lights strung all across the walls. Party Rock Anthem blasted throughout the house as many people poorly shuffled. The living room was packed full of gyrating bodies. I was in the middle of dancing with Chase, who dances amazingly when drunk, when the front door slams open. The house fell silent.

Everyone stopped and turned to see the Harvest Goddess standing there with an eyebrow raised. "Who would've thought you country bumpkins would ever go wild?"

No one said a word for a moment. "Come on let's party, BITCHES!" the Harvest Goddess shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.

The party resumed, going crazier than before. I don't even know how, but there was a disco ball hanging from the ceiling. And bubbles. Lots of bubbles.

We all probably passed out around three, but no one actually left until six in the morning. "Damn," I groaned. "That was wild, last night."

I had just gotten rid of the last of the villagers, and I felt like absolute crap.

"Can you remember anything, Angela?" Finn asked groggily. "Cause I sure can't."

"Hmmm… I do remember something about rubber ducks. I also recall Ruth crowd surfing and doing backflips off of the coffee table. Phoebe and Perry were awkwardly making out in the corner, and I'm pretty sure Hamilton was breakdancing at some point. But other than that, no. Not a thing."

"It was awesome, though."

I laughed. "Hell yeah, it was!" I collapsed on my couch and grabbed a blanket. "But Angela needs her rest, or she'll throw up everywhere."

"You and me both." Finn settled down next to me. "No one ate any food. So that means we get it all to ourselves later."

I smiled lazily. "Yay for food…"

With that thought, we both drifted back into sleep.

**Well how was that? I quite enjoyed writing this, actually. It's partially dedicated to my friend, for giving me this idea…and pushing me to write again after non-stop complaints. Yeah, you heard me. But I love you dearly for that. . See that? That's my happiness in hand spasm form.**


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